Season One Reflections: Birthing Dreams, Relationship Dynamics, and Coming Out of Hiding

Melissa: 0:05

This is the Inner Rebel podcast.

Jessica: 0:16

You made it happen. You made your dream happen.

Melissa: 0:20

It's real, I know, and the craziest part about it. There's so many crazy things, but it's just the beginning, yeah.

Jessica: 0:26

I know I'm so proud of you and maybe for some context. Yeah, melissa is launching her soul baby, her soul vision, tonight and maybe you can share a little bit.

Melissa: 0:40

Yeah, so wild. When I hear it, my heart feels really big. Yeah, I have. So what's happening tonight is we're doing a virtual launch, and the best part is I'm just emceeing this thing. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm not the one responsible for the doing. It's like a real collective effort.

Melissa: 1:01

And so the Nova is a membership community that supports conscious women and specifically corporate women who have more of a drive to be in their purpose inside of their corporate positions, visionary, entrepreneurial women as well as, if you don't feel like you fit into either one of those boxes, third category would be more of like a change maker and emerging change maker and just know that they're made for more. And so we're going to have local communities, and we're actually launching with a beta founding local communities. I haven't even told you this. Instead of trying to figure it all out first and then do it, we're like why don't we just figure it out together? And so our vision is that we have like multiple chapters and we're going to call them maybe constellations, not chapters in every single state, so that women have a local tribe and that you are supported personally and professionally and spiritually, not only through our virtual global community, but also at a local level, and so you have women who just deeply have your back, and really, the thing that I think sets us apart is how we're going to be in relationship to one another, and that really just set in with me this week.

Melissa: 2:05

As silly as that sounds, it's our being that is the differentiator, because it's like, well, what makes you different than all these other communities? Where do you get to go? Where you feel deeply held in being your messy, vulnerable, real self and where people are cheering you on and not cutting you down, and where you're held to a higher vision and everyone wants to support you in every way that they can and you're well resourced and you have access to the coolest, most amazing dreamers in the world and they're all just like at your fingertips or next door to you. We really want to cultivate this sense of safety. You're safe here and you get to be yourself and it doesn't have to look any other way than is the way that you are. So I can't believe it's happening. But I can't believe it's happening. It's so special. How does it feel?

Jessica: 2:52

What's it feeling like today?

Melissa: 2:53

I feel really calm and excited and like I'm in like a giant love blanket, because I'm just getting these messages and emails from people that I don't even necessarily know that are like this is awesome, I'm cheering you on or I can't be there, but I'm celebrating. What I really got this past weekend was an increased capacity to receive. The first thing Sarah said in the retreat was it's not that we are over giving, it's that we are under receiving, yeah, yeah. And so what is that shift for you?

Jessica: 3:26

Like, how do you actually integrate or embody receiving.

Melissa: 3:30

I mean I feel like I know my lane and I'm not deviating. I feel like my team, like I just always even though they're wonderful and they've never let me down like I just kept feeling like they're going to let me down. They're going to let me down, they're not going to fault, they're not going to do it, they're going to like decide any moments, notice that they're just done here and then I'm going to have to do it all. And I felt really graspy and controlling and I could feel how much I didn't like how that felt like the last two weeks leading up to before I went to Boston, and how much I block John from being able to give to me, how much I block everyone, and I'm like also thought I was great at this.

Melissa: 4:10

So it's not like something I thought I struggled with, but what I've gotten is such a bigger capacity and an awareness of how I was blocking it, and how much love can I hold in my body and how much support can I get from not only the divine but everyone in my life, and how not alone I am in any of this.

Jessica: 4:31

But I love about what you shared is you just actively changed a story. You could feel the old story of I have to do everything by myself and I can't trust anybody, and how terrible that actually felt in your body. This doesn't feel good and how, with that consciousness could transform it into surrender. You just broke the pattern.

Melissa: 4:51

Well, it wasn't like that easy. It was just three days in sacred ceremony with 130 women, after doing eight years of work on it, to set my vessel up for this, and then what finally broke it through was callotrophic breathing, where my hands were locked into claws and my whole body was shivering, and I had this crazy experience of release and really happened in that breathing exercise. So it's not like I just chose to shift my mind.

Jessica: 5:22

No, no, you set yourself up for it. But also I would challenge maybe it doesn't have to take eight years, always no it does not.

Melissa: 5:32

There's been a lot of things happening in those eight years.

Jessica: 5:35

Now what situations come up that show us where we are in relationship with ourselves and we can feel our bodies tightening and these old patterns and fears and insecurities bubbling up. And if we do create a little bit of that space to recognize this isn't the way that I want to be. I mean, not every situation can be transformed that quickly, but you can. That's actually how, in even micro moments, you can shift the pattern. In this moment, I'm going to choose to trust the people I'm working with, surrender a little bit more and see what happens, and you never know.

Melissa: 6:05

I noticed it was happening as we were getting closer. So two weeks ago I was fine, you know, and then I started to lose sleep and I started to get more stressed and I could see myself getting more controlling and the amount that we had to get done, like the amount that we have done in a magical, spacious, supportive way, is a miracle. And so really, it was like two weeks of feeling like I wanted to just crawl out of my skin and then it was fixed. So I do think to your point. It's that it's not that we're going to stop feeling this way. I'm certain I will feel this way again. I'm blocking it again, but then you can move through it faster. You stay in it longer, like I might have stayed in that for like two years before and now it's, oh, two weeks. Cool, I didn't like that. Let's figure out how to move through it so we just really get better at shifting our state.

Jessica: 6:54

It's situations like this that reveal it to us, because we care so much. This is your baby and I know that when this actually is released, this event will be in the past. So if someone is listening and is like I want to be part of that, what might they do to connect with Nova?

Melissa: 7:10

Yeah, so right now we may change this. Our website is called the NovaLution, so it's a revolution and evolution, and Nova is the star that becomes so bright that it basically has a release of energy in it. So every one of us is a Nova, and so I am a Nova, you are a Nova, she is a Nova, and then together we are the Nova, and so it's thenovolutioncom, and we have free events the first week of every month. So I'm going to keep doing what I was doing, but now it's part of the Nova. So October 4th is our free event, and then you can check out the membership. It's available to apply to be a founding member and you can connect with us on Instagram at the.

Jessica: 7:53

NovaLution, novalution, novalution.

Melissa: 7:55

It's the NovaLution on Instagram.

Jessica: 7:58

Oh, melissa, you know to our listeners, this has been going on in the background as we've been developing this podcast, and so I'm curious because you've been tuning into all these conversations while you have been in the process of bringing this dream to life, you're hearing from people on how do we make our dreams reality. While you're deep in that process, was there anything that you were hearing from those conversations that actually served you or that you were also noticing in yourself as you were creating this?

Melissa: 8:27

One term that stands out, which was H's delusional confidence.

Melissa: 8:34

I feel like I have that also, where I just really believe in myself and I really believe in what I'm doing, and I think that's a theme not that everyone started there, but a lot of people really had this belief and a lot of times it didn't make any sense.

Melissa: 8:52

You know, you're like I'm just going to keep believing even though it doesn't necessarily make sense, and I feel a little bit crazy and I'm really scared but I'm going to keep going. So I think that was definitely a theme that I saw, and also the thing and I know this was kind of the point of us doing this was just how normal everyone is, that, like anybody can go down a path of excellence. That's a very big statement, but I really think it's available for us and I think that's why I really loved these conversations, because you're like this person didn't have any resources, they didn't have any family support, they just thought that they could, or they decided that they could, and then they got resourced around it and look at them now, and so it really made me see that there's not this perfect person, that this gets to happen, for it's like a series of decisions and what about the biggest fear that you found yourself bumping up against?

Melissa: 9:43

I mean I've been afraid of running my family into bankruptcy. I've been afraid of losing my marriage and having to go it alone. I've been afraid of all my friends leaving me, deciding that I'm not who they think I am or what I mean. Like I mean total destruction, really.

Jessica: 10:04

You've got so much of that to yourself.

Melissa: 10:09

I mean, I would say a lot of it's money and a lot of it's my marriage.

Jessica: 10:14

Okay, and if we were to talk about the money piece for a second, because I encounter that a lot with clients that come to me and are maybe unhappy in the situation that they're in and have a dream, and they know that to have the dream they have to invest money in that direction, but feel really insecure about either doing that or leaving the situation that they're in. How are you able to navigate through that?

Melissa: 10:37

Well, I will start by saying that I have a partner who has a great job, so I'm very lucky, and I know that that is not everyone's situation. So I have been fortunate that I could leave a multiple six-figure career and I was doing well at Beauty Counter but I took a pay cut. You know, I left four years ago and I was making like half and then it's been a roller coaster because I've really been in the evolution of what are my offerings. And when you're starting a coaching practice from somewhat scratched, you know, people are like become a millionaire in five minutes and it's like epic bullshit. And I'm a connected person who had a big network, who's great at what I do, but like it takes a long time to build something, and so it's been a process. So I've really leaned on my husband and it's caused some issues because I was making more than him when we met and then I was like I'm going to decide to follow my dreams instead, without your permission, I'm just going to do it, and so it's been a big source of growth for us and really navigating those conversations. But I will tell you that I decided that my top priority was myself and that I would have a personal growth budget, no matter what, and that I would continuously invest back in me.

Melissa: 11:54

And every single time I did it, I wanted to barf. I was like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this. This is so scary. Why am I doing this again? I kept doing it because I was like this is one of my highest core values and I really don't believe we can do any of this without investing back into ourselves. And there's a lot of resources, right. So I started to learn about different resources. There's different loans you can get. There's all kinds of things. There's even trades you can do. Like, I do a lot of trades for my services now and it's really probably saved me in the last year $50,000 to do trades, yeah. So there's a lot of creative ways that you can do if it's a priority for you. You have to just decide I don't say the sentence lightly that you are worth it.

Jessica: 12:35

Yeah, I know for sure there are so many men and women in partnerships struggling through the same thing and I know it's imperfect. I don't expect you to have all the answers, but I'm wondering if, in navigating this in your partnership, if you have key takeaways or anything that you might be able to impart for someone in that situation and how they can move through that with their partners.

Melissa: 12:58

I think it's one of the biggest struggles women have in partnership. Honestly, I think it's a big reason a lot of people get divorced. I have yet to coach a woman that is interested in her growth, that is not struggling with this, so I first want to normalize it Like this is what's happening.

Jessica: 13:21

I would also add in that I see men too in my practice and they struggle with the same thing. Maybe it's anybody who is on a personal growth journey and wanting to evolve and expand in their career and potentially there's some misalignment or, like their partner, may not be on that same journey in the same way. So I think it comes up for both sexes, or all sexes.

Melissa: 13:45

Absolutely, yeah, absolutely All sexes. You start off with one agreement as a couple and then you change a lot, and it's not actually bad or wrong of them either if they're like I don't really want to do that, you're trying to make me be different and I don't actually want that and you're like well, grow with me, do it. You have to, or else, and what I find is that the timing is mismatched, you know, because a lot of times I think it can go either way. I think that the partner can come along eventually. Like John's definitely been growing.

Melissa: 14:17

We have grown a lot together and a lot has happened since we got married and I'm like the same person, but I'm also not at all in some respects, and I think that it takes getting epically honest with yourself and with each other, which is so fucking scary, yes, to say the things that you are afraid of to the person you love, and the cost could be the marriage, but it's also costing you your happiness and you having a partner that actually meets you where you need to be met and where you're not sacrificing your standards and your values to remain in this partnership. So it's so complicated, but I will say we cannot rise without our partner at some point getting on board in some capacity Can't.

Jessica: 15:10

Yeah, one thing that I've noticed is even how many people avoid having the conversation at all. It's like to even sit down with their partners and say this is what I need from you, or I need you to believe in me, or this is my vision. And why don't you communicate your vision? And how do we figure out how both of these visions can work together? For sure, right To even have that conversation seems to be so scary for people.

Melissa: 15:35

Why do you think that is? Yeah, I didn't say anything for so long, I just felt it, and I think you try to convince yourself. No, I'm fine, I don't actually feel that way. No, it can be okay, it's good enough. Like it's good enough. I might actually have like like our marriage has never been horrible, but there have definitely been seasons where it's like it's fine, it's good enough. You know, but that's not who I am. I'm like let's have an epic, amazing marriage. Like poor guy, poor sweet man, he listens to this.

Jessica: 16:06

Maybe it's because if we actually say it out loud, then we actually have to face reality. You have to do something about it. We actually have to, like, face the truth of how you feel and how they feel, and if there's a mismatch, what do you do about that? And I think a lot of people find it easier to just ignore it as long as they can.

Melissa: 16:25

For sure, I think we all do. You know it's been very interesting being in these sacred circles with women and specifically studying with Sarah Janks, because her and her husband are very open about their marriage issues and Jonathan now he was on our show, jonathan's on our show.

Jessica: 16:41

Oh yeah, jonathan's the episode.

Melissa: 16:42

Yep, listen to Jonathan's episode. He even came to the retreat this weekend and like, sat in on the final day and I met by her and it was so powerful to hear his side. This is what it's like for your partner when you choose to change and they're like no, I don't want to. Which is how he was, and so it felt really expansive to hear his perspective. And you come home from these retreats and you're like this is who I am now and they're like I don't want you to be that way now, you know. And so I felt a lot more empathy for my sweet husband and the ride that I've taken him on for the last seven years six years but it's so scary.

Melissa: 17:25

It's so scary and I think, even if we take this out of the context of your marriage when you're in a circumstance that's very misaligned for you, albeit your partner, your romantic partner, a job where you live the way in which you've been relating to your family of origin, friendships that you've had, that actually don't fit anymore. This applies to everything. It's like when you are getting clearer on who you are and what you want and you're like fuck, my life doesn't actually fit who I am. Yeah, it's a big deal. I mean, you know this.

Jessica: 18:02

It actually ties into something that I've been reflecting on a lot, as I've been reflecting about this season and the conversations, because I was really surprised how many people went through the same experience that I had of this sort of dismantling, this big disassembling of their lives. We aren't always sure what we are really asking for. We say we have these dreams, we want these things, we want our dreams to come true. But if we're actually serious about those dreams, if they're the dreams of your heart and your soul and there's this incongruence between your dream and your current reality, even if you're not fully conscious of it, then it's like life comes in and tries to help you. You want the thing, but are you the person yet that can actually hold the thing that you're calling in? If your life has been built upon this foundation that isn't actually authentic to you, and if you've been living in this status quo and you haven't yet integrated the lessons or the gifts that you need for the life that you're asking for, you are taken through an initiation.

Melissa: 19:12

Or a hundred of them, or a hundred of them, yeah, or a hundred of them.

Jessica: 19:17

I was just thinking about that. In regards to what you said, that, yeah, it's. If we look at what we're actually asking for, at some point you have to surrender the things that aren't working. So I think that that is the fear of owning your dream, what might not belong in that dream that I'm really comfy in right now.

Melissa: 19:36

Yeah, yeah, I think that's the fear of. It's a when and you don't stop getting initiations. It's not like you, I know you don't. You're like I would like to be done for a while. I feel pretty good with what I've been given and I'd like to stop with my initiations, but you don't. It doesn't stop, as fucked up as that seems. You just innovations, expand your capacity to navigate. Well, some aren't always so seismic.

Jessica: 20:04

I mean, not everybody has to have that level of seismic transformation. In a few of the people who came into the podcast, including myself, we did have to undergo that because of where we were, to what our vision is or what was calling us forth. But I think we go through initiations all the time that, yeah, we're building our capacity and probably feels a little bit more digestible. You get little, you get doses and some people get, like you know.

Melissa: 20:35

Waterboarded, waterboarded, waterboarded, waterboarded. Sometimes life waterboards, you and you don't know how you're going to breathe again Feels like the right analogy.

Jessica: 20:48

Yeah Well, good on you. I'm so proud of you. You've been so brave and you're doing it, and I know that this has been in your heart for such a long time, so it's really exciting to see you bring it into the world, and in the way that you wanted to.

Melissa: 21:01

That is everything, because we can do a lot of things, but it's to your point of who are you being and how are you doing it. You can force a lot of things to happen, you can burn yourself out in the process, you can power through and feel like shit, and then you can have your outcome or you can decide. I mean, there's the becoming right, like all these things we're talking about. Help you become the person who can hold this. I knew about this eight years ago. I was not the person who could do this eight years ago, but now I am. It's like I'm drinking through a fire hose every single day of my life.

Melissa: 21:41

Thank goodness for chat GPT, or else I would be like on a ball in the corner of my room, but I am For real chat. We call him Chad. Chad has become a very important part of our team. Chad and Steve is our events directors, ai note taker, and so Steve and Chad are allowed into our feminine circles. So it's really about how do you want it to happen? Because we get so fixated on the destination that we forget about the importance of the journey, which is everything, and I know that's a cliche thing to say, but I talk to my leadership team all the time and I'm like we are laying the energetic foundation for this entire thing. Yeah, so if we do not have integrity with the values of this organization, then we need to slow down, we need to stop, we need to make some changes, because we need to have integrity with how we are doing this and the way in which we are treating each other.

Melissa: 22:29

Like, for example, we have 900 tech things that need to be done this week. Our tech director was out last week for her regular job and now she has COVID and rather than being like you got to power through, stephanie, you got to fucking do this. It's like OK, we need to get you some help. How can we get to some help so you can rest? And so we're like really trying to let her rest, even though there's nine million things to do. But I can't make her do this. Her body is like no way, you know. So it's hard to practice this, but we really want to model what it's like to build a company and relate to one another, which I know you and I have really worked through too of how do we want this to happen and where is the struggle and how do we get support and how can we do it differently so that you can thrive, because I don't want you to suffer. That's not OK, you know.

Jessica: 23:17

How do we change the paradigm?

Jessica: 23:18

You're changing the whole paradigm.

Jessica: 23:21

I think it goes back to what I meant when I said that when the initiation comes, it's coming to teach us how to have capacity or hold the dream that we're having in the way that we want to have it. Because, like you said, if that came to you eight years ago and you just did it then, or if all the things that I've been dreaming about showed up at the time that I was like I want it now, give it to me now, it would have come with a whole lot of lessons. You know what I mean. It wouldn't have actually been the dream and its integrity at the level of quality that I was envisioning, because I actually didn't understand what that meant. I wasn't embodying that in my being at the time. And so to trust the process, because in the journey you are actually getting all of the pieces of information that you need in order to, when you actually have the manifestation, be able to live it in a way that actually matches the vision right, that's actually healthy and beautiful and doesn't bite you in the ass yeah.

Melissa: 24:24

Does the waterboard do? Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm feeling this question for you because you've been on a real journey of becoming, and I don't even know if you've shared with me the answer to this, but I'm curious. Where are you headed? What has this opened up for you, and what do you now realize that you desire in your life?

Jessica: 24:44

Hmm, there's two parts, because I think I'm still integrating, so I still don't know if I yet have the spaciousness for everything that has been going on to be able to come back with a clear answer in its entirety. But one thing that has become clear to me in the last few months was that I was compartmentalizing different pieces of me and still keeping certain parts of me in the shadows. I was still hiding and still wrapped up in what I thought my identity was supposed to be. And I came to the realization. Why would I hold back any piece of me? Why would I not allow every part of me, even if they seem contradictory, even if they don't seem to make sense together, come forward in its fullest expression? Why would I shut down my power anywhere in my life?

Melissa: 25:41

Well, why, why would you, why were you?

Jessica: 25:44

I think I was still in the story of Piccolane I think that was part of it. Still in the story of if I'm known for this, it diminishes me over there, and that I really love acting. That has been the dream since I was a child, and allowing my identity to transition into something beyond that it felt like a betrayal, almost. It felt like am I leaving my dream behind, rather than me seeing it as an expansion of the dream? Mmm, yeah, because I think, in truth, the dream always was to be of service, even when I was younger, and I imagined being an actor and I imagined, you know, winning the Oscars and all of the things that you do when you're eight.

Jessica: 26:32

But I always envisioned it in such a way that when I'm in that position, I'll be able to give back to the world in a much bigger way. Yep, I always felt that so clearly and now I'm like well, here are all the opportunities to give back to the world. It's just not in the way or in the order that I thought it might happen. Yeah, and I also think that there is something about being an actor that felt like I should not come forward so publicly and be so personal, and I think that that's also shifting. I think more and more, all these public figures are having podcasts and being more transparent in who they are, but I think the messaging that I got when I was younger was that, in order to do your craft, you had to be really hidden about who you are. And yeah, that's done so.

Jessica: 27:27

So that's not a possibility anymore, and it was also ignoring this whole other part of me and a whole other expression of my gifts and what I would call my genius. I think we all have a genius and I was hiding it. I wasn't taking up space with it because it didn't feel like it made sense in that other realm, yeah, so it's been kind of coming out of hiding and taking more ownership and being proud of all of these different pieces of me and that I get to be all of it. I get to be all of it. It's like busting through the boxes we were talking about in the beginning, like just not accepting a box anymore, and that means that my life is going to look different than what I thought, but probably so much richer. And I get to also, I hope, inspire other people to leave the boxes and know that there doesn't need to be one thing that defines us ever.

Melissa: 28:22

Yeah, yeah. So what are you no longer hiding?

Jessica: 28:25

I think this, I mean I think it's hard to talk about yourself.

Melissa: 28:32

Well, too bad. You chose to be on a podcast with me. Episode 26 of the podcast. Can I ask you the question in a different way? Yeah, yeah, please. What do you now want people to know about you? That you were hiding before Barf. But, thank you, I'm going to make you claim it.

Jessica: 28:54

I actually don't think I've been asked this ever by anyone before and I really appreciate you asking it, and it's not formulated inside of me yet, so I'm just I know it's going to come. I think my gift is the ability to call forth people's highest selves. I think that's what it is. I think I can see it and I can hold people to it, and I don't think everybody can do that.

Melissa: 29:20

I will say that we have very different ways of doing that.

Melissa: 29:24

That's one of my gifts, but I think, because I bring you in I don't think we've ever talked about this I bring just into all of my clients and I didn't used to do it for my one-on-one clients but I'm starting to do it and I know that you are such a critical piece of that. I don't actually want to coach anybody if I can't have just do her magic as a part of it. And I think that's like the really fun part about working together because I mean, I think human design is the best way to get to it and I think you're a masterful at it, and one of the most fun parts of collaborating is there's a lot of different angles that we can come out like bringing people forward, and I really do think that you make me better at what I do because I get to lean on you and your gifts and you're so freaking good at it and literally every person that gets a reading from you, their minds are blown and it's the first time they've ever been able to see themselves in their whole lives. You know it's like no big deal, even in 30 minutes. That's what you can help them see. So I'm so glad you're not hiding this anymore.

Melissa: 30:24

Welcome to the party, all of Jess.

Jessica: 30:27

All of Jess. Well, I think the thing about human design readings and I do think I'm really good at it I think I'm an excellent translator for that system so I do get that feedback a lot from people who have maybe had other readings and they come to me and have a whole different kind of experience. I really understand story. Maybe that's my background as a writer and as an actress and I think I'm good at helping someone see the story of who they are. But to me it is a translation, like it's an expression of me, but it's not all of me, because I'm still giving them the information off of the chart. Right, I've always known human design was a vessel in a way or a container for me to show up in certain gifts that I have. But I actually think it's also a transitional space for me.

Jessica: 31:15

I think where I get when I'm starting to get really excited about is holding people to it. It's like people feel so seen and they're like that was amazing and it's like oh, yeah, okay, so they're going to go do it. How do we do it Right? So the conditioning part is what thrills me. Someone can feel so recognized from a reading and start to recognize themselves. And then it's the dismantling piece right. Then they have to look at their lives and go oh shit, this is who I am, this is who I want to be, and it doesn't align with what I've created so far. And I'm really good, probably because I've had this life experience. I'm really good holding people through that process. It's such a magical experience for me to be working with people over time and see their lives radically change. I don't know if I have the words to actually say what it is that's happening, but it does feel like an extension of me in some way, and I'm just finally giving it permission.

Melissa: 32:17

Well, I'm hearing that you're really really really good at your job.

Jessica: 32:22

Yeah, but it wasn't a job that I ever thought I would do or really claimed ever until now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and seeing beautiful things happen.

Melissa: 32:31

I'm also interested in beyond that. So I know you're taking some steps to enhance your gifts. I am curious if you know the answer to this, but if you could have this manifest in any way five years from now, what would you be doing? How would this be I?

Jessica: 32:53

don't know. I'm actually okay not knowing. I love that we're doing a podcast. I feel like this is the beginning of something and I'm really proud of us and what we've created. And it's been really exciting, especially to have people reach out and share what this has meant to them, people that I don't know and you don't know, who have found us. I mean it's really exciting that this is starting to become a movement in a way, and I love it.

Jessica: 33:22

So I could see myself doing this. I could still see myself acting that is still part of the vision and directing and writing stories. I think everything that I love to do, the thread that connects all of it is I'm obsessed with the human condition. I'm just obsessed with understanding what makes us who we are, and so I just have all of these different outlets that let me explore that for myself in various ways. But the direction that this actually takes, this work, I know it's going to go somewhere, but just like I didn't know what human design even was like six years ago, and here I am, I feel like I don't want to fuck with it. Just you tell me, universe, I'm here. I'm here, you show me, because it's probably so much greater than I could imagine. So I'm just going to keep trusting and following the dots Would former.

Melissa: 34:18

Jess have said that. Hell. No, I just would like to acknowledge the transformation that has you just be so easy, breezy and surrendered to the universe Got you. Now.

Jessica: 34:30

Yeah.

Melissa: 34:31

It's like one thing to say that and it's like I know you've talked about who you were, but like to get to that point where you're just like, just take me where you want me to go, no, you know.

Jessica: 34:43

Previous, jessica was choking her dream to death Like was just not releasing her grip, and you know what's really really front and center for me right now, and so I'm just going to speak it out loud. This is just the prayer of my heart I want a family. I want a family. I want to find my person. I want children in whatever way that comes, you know. So, as much as I want all of the other things to be my fullest self, I want a passionate career, and that's always gonna be an important part of me. What's really front and center right now for me is putting my energy into attracting that. Feel ready.

Melissa: 35:25

If you're out there and you're listening to this. Can you call Jessica Rose? I should have a hotline.

Jessica: 35:31

Find her on Instagram. Yeah, we need a hotline.

Melissa: 35:34

We have people standing by. There's a call center ready for your calls right now, so just don't be afraid to reach out to her. Thank you for saying that. I know that takes a lot to say that out loud, thank you. Thanks for asking these questions. You're welcome. I'm feeling particularly curious today.

Jessica: 35:56

I know that we need to wrap up relatively soon, so I would love just if you have any reflections on the season and what your takeaways are. I know that you mentioned the delusional confidence, but if there's anything else that you loved or have been thinking about, I'd love to hear it.

Melissa: 36:16

I have loved getting to know you. Same thing. I think it's been so special and I feel just so deeply grateful. I know I've told you this before, but it's wild. We've never met. I can't even imagine what a hug is going to feel like when we finally get to do that, but I feel so grateful for you in my life and all of the ways that you are in my life and that I really hit the jackpot in a partner. It's been so magical to get to do this with you and watch you. I think you're one of the most talented podcast interviewers I know and I'm like how do I get to be on this with Jess? She's so good at this and sometimes I'm like I feel like I'm just like, especially in one particular episode that you shall not name, I mean you just gave me a platform to do my obsession, which is get nosy.

Melissa: 37:11

That's great for me. So I will say that, first and foremost, and that even more than I realized before how much you build the plane as you fly it, I think that we would never have done this had we known what it was going to do to your life, because you just, I mean, I feel like you're not supposed to see the struggle or else you would never try, and so I am just so present to we're not supposed to have it figured out, we don't need to have it figured out that you continue to follow your joy, and this felt really good to get to combine our voices, and we had a similar desire as far as the kinds of conversations and the difference that we wanted to make through the conversations and the rest was like happening as we go. It's not like we knew all the answers. We spent some time laying a very thoughtful foundation, but like there's so much, you can't plan for yeah, there's so much you can't plan for, and I feel like that stops people from trying.

Melissa: 38:14

And I think about that with the Nova. I'm like, had I even known what we would have done in this four months, since I really was like let's go, I would have been like no, well, it's another initiation there. You go.

Jessica: 38:23

There's one of those more digestible initiations. Yeah, it wasn't a complete overhaul of my life, but I learned some big stuff for sure in this process.

Melissa: 38:35

I'm grateful, yeah, and I think that I'm actually really grateful for the generosity of people sharing their stories.

Melissa: 38:43

I think that we got I don't know if it's who we are or the space we hold, but I feel like people opened up in a way that was actually more vulnerable than they were accustomed to with us, and I feel really grateful that we got to receive their stories and share them in the way in which we did, because I feel like all of our conversations were so cool and I would get off most of them and be like, wow, that's amazing that we get to do this, and I just feel like it was so fun to get to ask these questions and learn so much about ourselves in the process. But I just really want to honor all of our guests and the depth in which they were willing to go, because we start off with throwing them in the deep end without swimmies and we're like good luck, I hope you can swim. And they all swam. They were all great. So I think those are my first three things that I think of. That's so good, that's so good. How about?

Jessica: 39:36

you.

Melissa: 39:37

And what are yours? You probably thought through this more than I did.

Jessica: 39:40

More than I did. What I so appreciate is you just brought in the things I didn't think about. So I just want to ditto everything that you just expressed and express my gratitude for you as a partner. I know for sure I would not be doing this if you hadn't been the catalyst. So I'm really grateful for the tornado that hit my life, but it's such a good way.

Melissa: 40:05

Family used to call me the Taz. I've chilled out my Tazzy energy Tornado. No, I'm really grateful.

Jessica: 40:11

But I'm going to pull a Melissa and actually read off my list, because what I want to share is I was just reflecting on what I saw as the common threats or the common themes showing up in all of these conversations, and we're talking about what does it take to live an authentic life and pursue your dreams and be a rebel, and I think that we're probably going to get so much more juicy stuff as we continue these conversations in season two. Should we do season two? I didn't even ask.

Melissa: 40:45

Yeah, we're doing season two. I was like are you questioning this? Are we going to have a public breakup? Oh my God, this is taking a turn.

Jessica: 40:53

But I think it's also good to just reflect back on what were the takeaways. What did we get from this? So the number one thing that everybody spoke about was listening to your body. Oh yeah, listening to your body. The second one was getting connected to the deeper why. Because it's hard to be brave if you actually aren't clear on why the change is so important to you.

Jessica: 41:19

We spoke about the dismantling. That was definitely a common thread the doing things before you're ready, which you just spoke to Aligning with your values. I took a lot from how many people talked about the transformation that they found through grief and in darkness and all the feelings that we tend to want to avoid Taking your weird, unique gifts and finding the value in them and making a career being yourself. So many of the people that we spoke to just did it their way. They didn't look at well, no one has ever demonstrated that this is possible. They said this is what I'm really good at, I'm going to find a way to offer this and so anything is possible.

Jessica: 42:04

Not taking the status quo to mean this is the way it always has to be. Is there anything else? Those were the big ones Surrender, and I think we've been speaking to this all through this episode, but we learned through challenge and we grow at the edge of our comfort zones, and I think challenge means that we're facing something that we have not yet been taught to handle or maybe somebody said that, but that's all that means, and so when you're in the middle of a challenge, nothing is wrong. It's just an area for you to expand because, like we were saying before, that is how we build the capacity for our dreams to come through. So those are a lot of the things that I took away.

Melissa: 42:43

Well, I think that's a beautiful way to wrap up season one, and thanking our listeners.

Jessica: 42:49

I'm just so grateful for everybody who has been tuning in consistently week to week, so grateful for all of you, and I want to hear your thoughts on the episodes and also if you have ideas or things you'd like us to be talking about or exploring in season two, please send them our way. We'd love to hear from you? Yes, Thank you.

Melissa: 43:11

Melissa, I don't think I want to say anything else. Okay, thank you 為什麼.