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um

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To even question what you've been told is true is incredibly courageous. It doesn't always feel like courage, what looks like courage to other people. For me, it feels like survival. This is our personal medicine.

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If I'm surrounded by thinkers, by lovers, by passion, by integrity, then I really do think that I know who I am.

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There is a peace that is indescribable when you're being who you are and you're living your purpose. I'm not going to come to the end of my life and be like, I didn't live the life I was meant to live.

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Can I be so comfortable in the idea This is the Inner

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Rebel Podcast. Every time I talk to you, Beth, I want to paint my wall green. You look really good in that room. It is really good. It just looks like a hug, like a hug from nature. I love it. Thank you so much. We call the color that my walls are because we painted the whole house this color. I call it postpartum gray. It was really representative of like what my mental state was when we moved in and painted. Can you see my whole

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head? I don't know if you're putting this anywhere

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in terms of video. You see your whole head. It's a beautiful head in a beautiful green room.

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A beautiful whole head. Thank you. Well, let's just dive in because I know what's going to organically unfold. So we have a dear friend with us today, Beth Clayton. Welcome, Beth. I'm so happy to have you here. Hi. I'm so glad to meet you. Nice to meet you too. And Beth is a transformational coach, mentor, and embodiment guide, certified teacher of Ishtara Body, dedicated to helping women break free from the confines of good girl conditioning, which both Jess and I are very excited to dive into today, and to awaken their sacred rebel. With over 15 years of personal exploration and professional experience, Beth empowers women to shed patterns of people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-silencies, and over-functioning, unlocking a life filled with authenticity, aliveness, creativity, purpose, and deep connection. Welcome, Beth.

SPEAKER_04: 2:09

Thank you. Thank you so much, Beth. So good to be with you again. It's been a hot minute.

SPEAKER_06: 2:14

I know. It's like a fun friend catch up.

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I know. It feels good in my body and it feels good in my soul.

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And you two go back a few years. Can you tell me how you know each other?

SPEAKER_04: 2:24

Yes. We met in the June's program, Beauty Unleashed. And that was what? Four or five years ago. Four or five

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years ago. 2020. Yeah. Early 2020. Yeah,

SPEAKER_04: 2:32

that's right. So almost five years. So we've been through it. Our own personal journeys, I think kind of started, not started, but there was like a sort of a gate opening that happened for both of us during that time. And it's been really cool Thank you so much

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for having me. Like, look at how... She's had a whole journey. A whole fucking journey. And it's beautiful. And so we'll dive into that today. But it's really... It's so special to get to be... in such a metamorphosis with you and witnessing what has happened in five years. And I can't believe it's been five years, which is also wild in and of itself. Yeah. We went through a whole pandemic together. That's how we got to know each other. Pandemic,

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young children, career shifts and changes and leadership. So many things happened for both of us during that time that I think we were on parallel paths with. So I'm excited to kind of pull the threads today

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on

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all of it.

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We start with a question that I'm really excited to ask you because I know that this is something that is very deep in your heart. We want to know what is your relationship with your inner rebel?

SPEAKER_04: 4:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 4:08

So

SPEAKER_04: 4:09

number one, I feel like I've always had an inner rebel and I think most women, I like to relate to the inner rebel and the part of us who's always existed, the part of us who is very much a part of our authenticity from the beginning and has always fought for us. And it's always been a little wild and it's always colored outside the lines as it were. To me, they represent the untamed part of us before the good girl conditioning really started to set in for all of us in different ways. And I relate to it as good girl conditioning only because I speak to teach mostly women or humans who were assigned female at birth in their early formative experience, since that affects so much. But I feel like we can't even talk about the rebel until we talk about the good girl, because I feel like they are different sides of the same journey.

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And

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I think my discovery of my inner rebel came through a very powerful and deep internal road that I traversed with all the iterations of my good girl and how she lives inside of me. So I feel like my sacred rebel was sort of an emerging that happened over time, but it was also a remembering at the same time. And it came out of actually a deep love and appreciation for my good girl rather than a rejection of her as she lives in my body, as she lives in my experience. So that's how I relate to my rebel is this medicinal early. It's like the becoming and the unbecoming at the same time. Yeah,

SPEAKER_06: 5:44

it's so good. Yeah, it's so good. I was even saying to Jess, just like, you know, Beth has come so far since I've known you. And I said something to the fact of who she is today is so different. And then corrected myself. I don't remember my exact words, but it's more who she is today is who she always was. And now we get to see you. We get to experience you. Yeah. And so I love that. It's the remembering of who we are. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 6:14

Well, I feel like so many of us think we know who we are. We think we figured it out. I was already 36, 37 years old. We met, I'm 42 now. I can't do math in real time. Do the math yourself. Even

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if it's elementary math, it doesn't matter. Give or take a year. Give or take a year. Ish, I'm 42-ish.

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I'm not going to do that in real time. I still have anxiety. I still have math anxiety for my good girl, because then, okay, people. Okay, so I think what's so wild about it is that who I was at 37, or however old I was at that time. That's who I thought I was. And I think obviously inner work is so incredible for lots of reasons. But I think a lot of us think about getting better so much of the point of doing work is to get better, to become a better version of ourselves. And we hear this all the time that actually it's not about becoming better. I find it's much more about becoming more honest with ourselves first, about where we have been masking, about where we have been hiding, about where we have been keeping our Our authenticity. Once you realize that's a thing, that authenticity is a thing, that took like a hot moment to figure out that was a thing. But the masking, we're doing it to ourselves at a certain point. Nobody even has to ask us to mask. We believe the mask is us. And Brené Brown talks about it so much, I think, in Daring Greatly, where she says, when you see kids in middle school, the mask is so obvious because it's so clunkily fixed. So when they're in middle school and they're trying so hard to fit in, It's like such an ill-fitting mask that it's kind of laughable and adorable and so obvious. But by the time we're like in our 30s, it's a second skin. It's hard to even discern who is us and who is not us. What is our coping strategy? What is our personality? And when I think back to Beauty Unleashed or that time when we met, Melissa, I think there were so many parts of myself. I just had no idea even existed. I was like, oh, this is who I am. And then it was like, oh, but have you seen there's like a hundred rooms around you that you've never even explored that are a part of who you are? And I'm like, I didn't know we were even in a room. So yeah, cool. We're in a room. It just opens up universes really in realms when you start understanding there's so much more to explore within myself. There's so much more available to me. in my human experience and what I thought. When I talk to women about wanting more, it's not more things, although things are awesome and experiences are awesome, but like more access to these rooms and ourselves as this person in this body.

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I'm curious about your why, because there's many people who will live their whole lives without taking off that mask. And it takes a lot of courage to actually walk into those different rooms. And I'm curious what was happening in your life that made you even decide to venture there?

SPEAKER_04: 8:56

Ooh, such a good question. Because I was about to be like, well, I've always kind of been a truth seeker, which I think is like, I think most women are, to be honest, if they're just honest with themselves for even two seconds, there's a truth seeker in there of like, what is real? What is reality? Show me more. But at the time, I was already on a growth path for a long time. I've been a coach for the better part of 15 years. By the time I had found Beauty Unleashed, I had already done a TEDx. I already had big group programs happening in New York. I'd already worked with hundreds of people. But when I found that program, something seismically shifted. And it's because it was introducing me to the sacred feminine, which is something that I never knew was a thing or seemed like such an out there premise to me from my Catholic upbringing that it had never even occurred to me. And then when you start to really understand, whoa, what's been hidden, what's been lost, what's been covered up, it's so mind blowing that it's hard to even start to pull the threads on because like a whole portal gets opened into your human experience. So I feel like something seismically shifted that day. But when... I said yes to that program. I remember why. I had young children. I was drowning. I felt like there were aspects of me that were deeply broken and wrong because I was seeing the monster in me for the first time, which I feel like some women can really only relate to when they have small children and are feeling highly, highly overwhelmed, like the extent of the monster that can emerge when I'm What about it? They're like, oh, it's a thing. There's a monster. There were parts of myself that were coming out in that experience that were unrecognizable and did not match who I thought I was. And I was experiencing such intense shame. One of my children has higher needs, and I was feeling so overwhelmed by having an infant and a child who had high needs that I was literally screaming in the closet. I mean, honestly, I needed therapy. I got therapy. I had a therapist. I didn't just jump into a sacred feminine program when what I needed was a therapist. There were multiple things happening there. But I remember when I spoke to the woman who was running the program, she asked, why do you feel like you need to do this program? And I was sharing everything I wanted with my business. And she was saying, well, what's blocking it? And I said, motherhood. And she was like, well, what about motherhood? And we uncovered that I was in a relationship with my shame that was suffocating and I was not able to get out of my shame hole. And when I was sharing with her my experience and why I felt so ashamed of myself and why it was so hard for me, she was like, well, yes, it is a hard situation, but why is it so hard for you? And I thought that was a really interesting question because it was a universally difficult situation, the one that I was in. Everybody objectively would be like, yeah, that sucks. I would never pick that really. If I had to opt in, no thanks. But there was something about the recognition that yes, there are hard circumstances, but yes, there's also typically something about the circumstance that we're in that's reawakening an old wound that has never been resolved. And that's why it's becoming unbearable.

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Mm-hmm.

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in that circumstance is because it's reawakening some body memory or some experience within us where we were so profoundly alone or unattuned to that even the slight re-experiencing of that can start to send us wildly out of our zone of tolerance in our lives. And so I had no idea what that even was. And I was like, I don't know what this is reawakening in me, but I clearly... I had a therapist and I was like, I think I'm ready to explore this on a spiritual level. And through entering into that program, yes, there was spiritual work, but I was also introduced to embodiment work, which was the first time I had ever been introduced to even the idea of what it was to embody different aspects of ourselves or to allow our authentic self to start to emerge versus the constructed self.

SPEAKER_06: 12:50

It's wild to think the number of things that are so instrumental in your work today that were introduced to you back then. Embodiment, sacredness. And I'm really curious to dive into the embodiment side of your work and your life in embodying your sacred rebel, because you talk about and you teach rewriting the narrative is done through Yeah. Wow. when we were all doing something blindfolded with two of the women supporting me, holding my hips as I sobbed uncontrollably and moved my hips. And I literally have not had pelvic floor issues since that moment. Wow. Wow. Since that moment. So I would love for you to share about that. I mean, we could take the next 12 hours to talk about that. It's so big, but recognizing that we have to change things at a body level.

SPEAKER_04: 14:12

Yeah. Okay. So I will make this long story short, hopefully. First of all, when we were in that retreat with Anahita back in 2020, two months before the world completely shut down with COVID, like we had no idea. I think about us in that room sometimes and I remember reading the astrology of that year and I was like, this does not sound promising. Do you know what I mean? Something's going to happen. You know, and then like two months later, we were just like totally dromics, total reality chaos. Turn sideways. We all know. We all know. We all lived through it. Full point once, we were introduced at that retreat to an S-factor teacher. And we started doing some kind of Shakti activating practices. And at that time, something woke up in me. And I will say something woke up in me Like my body would not stop riding and needing to move all the time. And so I kind of began my own movement practice during that time that was really just listening to music and moving. I mean, every day it was my respite. It was my thing that I went to. It was my thing I did in the morning to connect to my body, to myself. And somehow it just made things better. I didn't even have a specific practice. I didn't have a specific methodology. I'm not sure I was doing an S-factor or anything. I was just like showing up and moving and dancing. And then there was this voice that just kept being like, start sharing it. And I was like, No. Oh, God. But I did. I started sharing it. People thought I was out of my effing mind. My family was like, what are you doing? My poor husband was just like, she's completely lost her mind. COVID's gotten to her. She's completely lost her mind. But my body was ahead of my brain. At that time, my body knew things that my brain and my self-concept and my ego and my identity was having a lot of trouble catching up to. And because maybe I was a performer for so long, I'd had so many experiences as a performer that if I just trusted my body, amazing things started to happen. And so many times I leapt in performances, just trusted the impulse, and then it would be the most amazing thing that happened. And so I was like, trust the body, go. Then I started discovering Ishtar Abadi. which brought it into a completely different, it's like it dropped 10 floors deeper. And that's when I met Tracy in around 2021 and I was introduced to the Ashtara Body Method. And this was a method that was a moving meditation method in small groups where you were taught how to move in ways that released stored emotion in the body and then start to work with nervous system patterns in order to shift these nervous system patterns to create new results.

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in

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your life. Because what we started to realize, because I know you did a shower body as well, is that when it changes in the body, it changes in your life because 90% of our motivation is actually coming from the self-protection of our nervous system, whether or not we are aware of it. We're very much at the mercy of our nervous system and how it was sculpted and conditioned. And our thoughts actually follow our nervous system. A lot of people believe, oh, thoughts create our experience in our body. They're a part of that for sure. What we are believing is deeply affecting our experience in our body, but a large part of what's even occurring to us has to do with how activated our nervous system is. And we are not in charge of that. We're not in charge of how our nervous system is responding to the world until we learn how to self-regulate, which many of us were never taught how to do. So moving meditation actually helped me start to learn how to consciously regulate myself. And that really meant moving through difficult emotion, through meditative movement, And what that means is with voice, breath, pleasure, sound, self-expression, and then being witnessed actually rewires the pattern in our system because it's oftentimes the thing we did not have when the body memory is restored. Then really amazing things started happening in my life. So I started believing that. New expression was coming through. New authentic self was coming through. So it was never like one thing. It was like multiple things that would come together and then something that would root it much more deeply. To me, the most powerful combination comes from body up to the brain and brain down to the body. And I find that unless we give our brain a certain amount of food for our brain to contextualize why we're doing what we're doing and to understand the reality that we're talking about and why things work the way they do, the brain actually won't allow us to go deeper

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into

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the body unless there is some basic contextualized understanding and framework that makes sense to the brain. Yeah. I think we need both.

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If this was a completely new concept for someone listening, how would you suggest they even begin? Are

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you asking for a friend or yourself? I'm just kidding. Hypothetically

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speaking. I'm just kidding. Asking for all of our listener friends, because you're speaking at a very high level and not everyone listening to this is going to know what that means in application.

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So good. And this is something my business coach is always like, Beth, stop talking to the people who know exactly what you're talking about and start talking to the people who are, you know, so thank you for that because I get on a jag, right? And I'm like, so I'm going to like take a moment, take a breath and I'm going to return to my body right now, which is the whole point really. And I think I'll start with this. That's the journey up until this point that I have been on. And I am an embodiment teacher and it's, created huge changes in my behavior and in my life and how I create. It has created huge change in how related I'm able to stay with other human beings, how much surrender I have in trying to control or manipulate other people, and how I work with what life is handing me instead of trying to always control the outcome so that I don't have to feel difficult things. And that way I have a lot more freedom and a lot more trust and a lot more ease because I know I'm going to be okay.

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that

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being said if somebody is coming into the work I actually bring them in now through a little bit of a different lens I don't start talking about the body and nervous system and all of those things the way I actually start to explain my body of work and how it can help people is through the lens of good girl conditioning and there's two layers to good girl conditioning that's my phrase for patriarchal conditioning and the reason I use the word good girl is because I believe that the good girl shows up in like a thousand different ways. I don't believe it's one archetype. I believe the good girl conditioning shows up in the mean girl, in the bitch, you know what I mean? In the helpless victim and the one who's fawning and kind and nice. It's like every aspect of shadow feminine that we can imagine is within my umbrella of the good girl. Yeah. But when we talk about good girl conditioning, it is obviously the conditioning of our brain because we've been raised in a patriarchal society and there's been patriarchal influence for many thousands of years at this point and lots of generational trauma as a result of that. But also because through that, our nervous system has also been sculpted. Because our mother's nervous systems were sculpted and our father's nervous systems were sculpted and those before them and those before them and those before them. So we're kind of screwed on two levels. It's not just how we think, but it's how our body even moves through the world to keep us safe. And until we are aware, we can't actually change any of it. I find a lot of the dysfunction and reasons that women actually have trouble creating in ways that are effective for the results they most actually desire in their lives. Most of the self-sabotaging patterns can be isolated down to threads of good girl conditioning, both in the psyche and in the nervous system. So what I do is I invite them into... understanding more of how these good girl patterns and thinking are showing up in their lives so that we can understand how to actually start to heal it in the body and know what needs to be dismantled and rebuilt in their thinking to start to create new results that they actually want. So that's the lens through which I introduce women to the work. Because if I just started talking about nervous systems all day long, I'm not sure I'd be getting the right women for me either, you know? Although it's fun to talk

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about the nervous system all day long.

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Oh, sure.

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Well, I'll do it.

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I'll do it.

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Pull my arm. Pull my arm. Twist my arm. Pull my finger. Pull my finger. Pull something. Twist something. Maybe my hair. I don't know. But don't. But that's my body. That's my body. Thank you, Dom. Well, Jess wrote this today. She was like, I'm curious if we can share what our good girl rules are and the ones we're afraid to break. And I kind of want to do that. Ooh, talk to me. I want to know. And I kind of want to call on you, Jess, to see if you want to go first. I don't know why I'm stroking a mythical beard right now, but it's a goatee. It's a goatee. Tell us, Jessica.

SPEAKER_02: 23:06

Well, I'd love to, but maybe we can introduce what the good girl rules are, and then we can each share our own. I love it. Okay, so this will be really quick.

SPEAKER_04: 23:15

The good girl rules became very clear to me, and I'm going to really note this is the work of Elise Lohnan. She doesn't call them the good girl rules, but she wrote the book, On Our Best Behavior, The Price Women Pay to Be Good. I

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really need to read that. I downloaded that. This is probably like the fifth time I've heard of this book, On Our Best Behavior.

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It's so good. Yes. So when I read this, I've been a coach for a long time. My body of work was kind of all over the place. There's self-sabotage over here, there's purpose work over here, and there's visibility, there's authenticity, there's relationships, like it's all over the place, right? She was like, I'm giving you a framework from my heart to yours, from which everything you've ever done will make perfect sense. Are you ready? Thank you. Giordamina, that was like, sure. Thank you, Elise Lohnan. It gave some smattering about the history of patriarchy, but then it started connecting patriarchal religion and specifically the seven deadly sins, how they're connected to how we live as women now. And the seven deadly sins were I don't know, 1,500 years ago, but they're so deeply affecting in very real palpable ways how we operate as women today. And the dawn of patriarchal religion was one of the ways women were dominated through patriarchy when it was no longer we're just killing and torturing you. And I'm laughing, but like when it's no longer just about literally keeping you terrified for your life or your children's lives or... taking all resources away from you. The control was done legally, and it was also done through patriarchal religion. So that's why every single good girl rule, we can trace back to the seven deadly sins in some way, shape, or form, because it's a powerful symbol of that time as to how patriarchy was calcifying these unwritten rules that were already present for women into religious doctrines.

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of

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some kind in ways that would have permeating effects over generations and generations. So every single good roll roll we can trace back to one of the seven deadly sins. And this is Elise Lohnan's work. So good. But then I was like, yeah, literally every thought that's blocking anybody all the time, like it can be traced back to this in some way, shape, or form. And when we think about what patriarchy did and how it oppressed women, it was through very specific ways. It was through disembodiment being the primary tactic. If we can keep women terrified and unresourced, then they're much more controllable. If we can disconnect them from the earth, if we can disconnect them from their pleasure, which lives in the body and is the way that we actually titrate difficult emotion, if we can connect them from their spiritual centers, then we can control them. That's it, which is very effective and served as a template for how to oppress many other populations.

SPEAKER_05: 26:09

After

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women. Okay. And by the way, non-binary folks and what we can now call trans folks were around since the beginning of time. And I'm putting them in that group because they're not cis males who were at the top of the patriarchy pyramid. So I like to think of each good girl rule, like the basic ones, like the pillars are one of the seven deadly sins. They're like basically a seven deadly sin. For instance, pleasure and sexuality are dirty. That's a very clear, obvious one. Right? And we might be like, I don't believe that. But yet there are thoughts every day that we might be unconsciously thinking that may directly have to do with that. And we don't even realize that's where it's sourced. Thoughts like, oh my God, why does she need to be such an attention whore? She's always dressing like she needs to be looked at and seen and like she's the sexiest thing alive. So I like to think that each pillar, each seven deadly sin rule, right? Like sexuality is dirty or women's sexuality is dirty, have like thousands of and thousands of rules and thoughts underneath them. So that's one example of a good girl rule. Another good girl rule would be that women are always productive, helpful, and center others. This is why most women are like the glue of their families and taking care of literally everyone around them.

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This

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is why there's a huge difference in the default of labor in households and childcare and all of those things. That's another example of one.

SPEAKER_01: 27:30

I

SPEAKER_04: 27:31

could go on, but we might be able to just kind of guess what the rest of them are, or I can name them expressly, whatever you desire.

SPEAKER_02: 27:36

Yeah, well, you already kind of did just now. Certainly not wanting to hurt other people's feelings is huge for me. Not wanting to make people uncomfortable. Not quite the nice girl because I do tell the truth, but I have to tell the truth so consciously and so sensitively to make sure that everyone is okay. That's a big one of mine.

SPEAKER_04: 27:58

Well, I can tell even just from the way you're talking that you have a huge heart and that's a part of it.

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Thanks.

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So there's probably a really big heart and a sensitive person in there regardless of any of that. And I think it's good to recognize that it's not all one thing. So there's like our authentic selves and how that authentic self has come into the world. Yeah. how this all specifically affected that sensitive, beautiful self coming in.

SPEAKER_02: 28:24

Thank you. So

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there can be that big hearted, empathetic, I want people to feel me and know that this comes from love. And that can be so true and real. And then there can be sort of the overextension of that or twisting yourself or sacrificing your truth and your honesty and your authenticity to overtake responsibility for other people's Yeah. And

SPEAKER_02: 28:49

that's one that I've been doing a lot of work on over many years. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I do wonder how much it still interferes with me being really unapologetic in a public way. But I do feel held back in terms of being unabashedly expressed in the spotlight. I think it might be connected.

SPEAKER_04: 29:23

Well, I think that's a really common one. So there's multiple ones there, which of course all of them affect our lives. It's not just one. But one of the big ones that I really, really hear a lot from women is it's not safe to actually fully shine because in doing so, I'm actually going to hurt other women.

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Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04: 29:43

I will make them feel badly about themselves. I will trigger them. I'll make them feel like they're not where they should be. If I shine, it's diminishing somebody else's choices. I hear this a lot and it's always so heartbreaking when I hear it because usually I hear it from the women who literally have something incredible going on. to share. Their light is actually really, really big.

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And

SPEAKER_04: 30:07

their willingness to shine, it could absolutely be life-changing for so many people. And yet it's like, but if it's going to hurt someone else, I always have to remind them, we think it's about hurting somebody else, but really it's a fear of losing people. It always comes back to us. It's a fear of losing people or being criticized or having to be with the feelings that of knowing that our truth, without doing any harm, just us being in our truth, made somebody feel something

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that

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they didn't want to feel. And that's hard. And I also try to remind them, And that's theirs to feel and could actually be the portal opener.

SPEAKER_06: 30:48

Yes.

UNKNOWN: 30:48

So good.

SPEAKER_06: 30:49

Or it came up in couples therapy this week. Yes. My therapist called, well, I don't need to air dirty laundry, but it was like, is it that she's doing that? Or is it that you don't like the feelings that you have to feel when she does that? Yeah. And I was like, yes, nailed it. So good. So good. So as you were naming the seven deadly sins and some of the, examples. It's so interesting. I was having a flashback to high school me and college me and actually probably up until my early 30s. So I started to do this work when you said pleasure and sexuality are dirty because I grew up in a patriarchal religion. Yeah. When my parents found my birth control, which I wouldn't be stoked that my high school daughter had birth control. But the response was in my mind now, this is what it was. It was like an hour long lecture. It was a very long lecture. awkward, shameful lecture on premarital sex. And they like took it. And my dad drove to the dumpster at his work, which was like 45 minutes away. And it was just like, no, this is wrong. And that was just like one major example of how I embodied pleasure and sexuality are dirty. And now I've come so far. I was the friend that like my face would get so... red. If you talked about anything sexual, if I had a turtle shell, I would be like inside of it. So embarrassed for so many years. And we would joke about it. You know, I was like, Mo's going to get like real embarrassed about this. I couldn't talk about anything. And I'm so proud that I can now. I was really flashing back to my red faced turtle shell self that was taught pleasure and sexuality are dirty. And to pair with that, like this perfect pairing of if you do something wrong, so just like literally the good girl, right? If you disappoint somebody and you go against the rules, you are wrong. You are bad. You cannot let people down. So to this day, I mean, I've worked on this for 10 years and I'm still like, well, I didn't want to disappoint my husband. It's so much actually men, not women. I'm really epically afraid of letting men down. Thanks, dad.

SPEAKER_04: 33:07

So many layers we uncover in this journey, right? So many. Oh my gosh. I love that you're naming that because I'm still very much on my journey with this too, but I've come a really long way. And I remember when I did join Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I can't believe I even had to ask that. That was just like a very apologetic weird thing to do

SPEAKER_06: 33:46

for somebody who's embodying the sacred rebel. Your good girl wanted to know if she could say pussy. It's fine. My good girl is always like talking into

SPEAKER_04: 33:54

this work. Even my business coach the other day, she was looking over my emails. You know what I mean? And she was like, oh my God, you're good girling. Like get the good girl. Like you're literally embodying this and get the good girl out. Get the good girl. Stop asking permission. Like, and I was like, I know, I know, I know. And it's like, but that's also what makes everybody so lovable. And we're all doing the work together and it's okay. But like sometimes the good girl is still like, hi, she is here and

SPEAKER_06: 34:17

she still shows up and I still mask. It's all good. And it's okay. And so back to the pussy. So

SPEAKER_04: 34:24

this is wild. You know, I remember at that time. you know, her asking questions about my relationship with my sexuality. And I just remember kind of freezing because my whole perception at that time was I knew I was disconnected from an authentic relationship with it. I was connected to a performative relationship with sexuality, but there was a big disconnection in my body from my primal self and like my heart. So there was a part of me that felt very animalistic and needed to have her needs met, but it's almost like it had to be completely in the dark and shut away and something I couldn't talk about. And then there was like the best, the real So it was almost like there was this critter that lived in my body. I know critters are a weird word, but it felt very primal and animalistic and not connected to the rest of me. It felt like some part of me that I kind of had to be like, and then when we kind of unpacked that, I remember she was like, do you have trauma? She asked me that and I was like, no, but of course all humans have trauma. And sometimes it's not as obvious as we might make it. Like there was nothing that happened to me that I can name or remember or any of those things. I think it was really a pattern of conditioning over time living in the society. that we're in that accessing that part of myself meant something bad was dirty. And it's so simple, but it's so true that I just disconnected or separated. And that's the whole point with the patriarchal religion is it's separating the sacral and the heart. If we can separate the sacral and the heart, you've separated the area of gnosis in a woman. You have separated her ability to have her inner gnosis intact, her ability to know herself.

SPEAKER_05: 35:55

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04: 35:56

and her authenticity. I mean, this is really how it works. It wasn't until I was in a program this summer that's a deep embodiment program that I don't know if you know Deanne, but she's an Ashtara teacher as well. And she's also an S-Factor teacher. And she was teaching me in a retreat and she taught me how to do some of the deeper pleasure work in my body. I've been doing embodiment work for a long time and definitely have learned how to work with pleasure in my hips and my movements and stretching and like the textures I put on my body. So much has deepened in my understanding of that. But this was like a whole new level where I don't know what she taught me that day, but I was moving my body in ways that were very new to me as I was dancing. And we had done that for a little while. We were witnessed in it by other women, which was hugely powerful. This is a big part of it too, and celebrated while we were doing it. But then she had me dance a heart song using the same, like a song that's, because I have a big romantic heart and I was doing the same movements of pleasure with my heart open. It felt like, A body awakening. It felt like I couldn't stop crying for hours. It felt like my heart and my pussy were the same.

SPEAKER_05: 37:04

And

SPEAKER_04: 37:05

it felt like I had a heartgasm is the only way I can say it. I didn't actually have an orgasm while I was doing it, but it felt like a heartgasm, like going into the eons. I couldn't stop crying. I was like, this was... available as like a regular experience for humans, like how powerful we feel, how connected to everyone and everything we feel. I just couldn't stop crying because I was like, oh my God, this was taken. Like this experience was taken and it was taken intentionally. And it was just so wild to have that experience of a full body remembering sinking. Really? And then I'm like, oh, this is the whole point. Oh my God. It was wild.

SPEAKER_02: 37:51

After an experience like that, how does that shift how you find yourself showing up in the world?

SPEAKER_04: 37:59

I've always been committed. I've always been committed. I think anyone who knows me knows I'm ambitious. I'm consistent. It's not like, where did Beth go? I'm like, I'm in your face all the time with what I'm up to in the world. And my devotion... to what I am up to and what needs to be reclaimed for women is so deep and true. And it so comes from my lived experience. It's not an idea. It's coming from my journey and the tenderest, most important, most potent navigation I've done through my own journey and my own body. Like I'm on a mission. Like this is what's going to save the world. Like I am clear that we need to rewire ourselves the entire way things have been done and that it starts with women and the time is now. And that it has to happen in women first.

SPEAKER_06: 38:49

I'm

SPEAKER_04: 38:49

so excited

SPEAKER_06: 38:50

about it. I'm so excited. It's so fucking true because you can't like, ugh, I'm the same way. I know we are living our missions out in a different way, but we have the same core, like we've got to fucking solve this. Yeah, yeah, totally. And when you have those primal, where you're like, wait a minute.

UNKNOWN: 39:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 39:10

What was that? What just happened to my body? What did I just witness? What did I just feel? What was the energy of this situation? In community with other people experiencing the same thing, being witnessed, being held, being safely able to just fucking go there in the most exposed, raw, real ways. And you cannot... unremember that. I don't know if that's actually a word, but you cannot go back when your body has that experience. It's like, oh my God, I'm always... And you're the same way. It's like, what can we do about that now? It's like body experience, go into the world. Let's go find the people. Let's bring the people together. Let's wake the women up. Let's help them remember. And the thing I love about what's happening with women is there's so many... incredible ways to do it. There's so many modalities. There's so many breadcrumbs that we can follow. How does somebody get into this? It's like, what's the thing that's in front of you that's calling you? Because we went through the same programs and we're on different paths, right? It's like, I didn't feel called to teach as Tara, but damn, did that shit change my life? And so it's like trusting yourself to follow those breadcrumbs because they're going to lead you to what you need to break through and your specific medicine in your life. So I get very excited about this, obviously. And I'm fucking pumped. I love women waking up. I love the layers of it where you're like, I've been doing this for 15 years and then my pussy and my heart became one one day. And now this is available for me. Nothing was

SPEAKER_04: 40:49

ever the same. Nothing was ever the same. Oh, and I'm like, I always kind of was jealous of people who had intuitive gifts. I was like, oh. We all do, girl. We all do. No, I know now. I know now. Because once I started doing embodiment work, and especially now, I'm like, oh, I'm fucking psychic. Oh, I've always been fucking psychic. Like, I'm psychic in lots of ways, not even just one. Like- And I'm honing this and learning to trust myself. I'm not claiming to be like a medium. No one come to me yet. Once I get there, I'll let you know. Here's my booking link. Okay, three years from now, I have a booking link. But I'm training in it and I'm learning how to trust myself and I'm learning how to onward and offboard those experiences. I understand it now and why embodiment is such a powerful path to being able to tune into all of our different clairs and gifts that live in the body and through the body and everybody is. It's just a matter of having a free enough channel and trusting it. And when we've been taught from a very young age that that's bad and scary and wrong or can't be trusted or there's fear around it, we also shut down to that magic. And so it's all connected. The earth, the pleasure, the body, the psychic, the knowing, the inner gnosis, the spiritual centers of the community, it's like all, you start to see the threads, man. And once you see them, you can't unsee them. You cannot unsee them, I know.

SPEAKER_02: 42:06

And you also work a lot with self-sabotage and you call it the good girl protectors. Yeah. I'm curious if you might be able to guide us on how we can spot some of those self-sabotaging mechanisms, maybe the obvious ones or the less obvious ones that you see pop up in women over and over again. And what would be a way through that?

SPEAKER_04: 42:29

There's so many different self-sabotaging patterns that I see. And what I'll share is what I now deeply get And listen, I did a TEDx about self-sabotage in 2016. And now my understanding of it is so much deeper. At the time, what I would have told you and what the whole TEDx is about is like, oh yeah, all self-sabotage boils down to a wounded inner child and an adapted child, right? We all know this. Maybe you know the wounded inner child and the adapted child. And they're really just trying to block us from reliving an experience that we've already had. Now what I understand through embodiment work and having done this for so long is and having served so many different women and seeing all the different patterns is that there's so many different ways it shows up. I mean, it shows up in self-doubt. It shows up in numbing. It shows up in dimming our light. It shows up in projecting on other women. And it shows up in basically anything we haven't learned how to feel safely in our body winds up getting projected outward

SPEAKER_05: 43:24

onto the

SPEAKER_04: 43:25

world as to why we don't have what we want and why we can't have what we want. That is so good. I want you to repeat it. That is so good. I don't even know what I said. Anything we haven't been able to feel in our own body winds up getting projected onto the outside world or reasons why we can't have what we want or why it's other people who are the problem, why we're the problem or other people or circumstances. As the absolutes, I'm not saying there isn't nuance in any situation. Of course there is. But what is within our ability to start to shift and change has everything to do with our willingness to start to consciously bring the unconscious conscious. And the way that we do that in my work is through embodiment work and starting to go into the body and recognize how to start to work with different activation energies like freeze, bomb, fight, flight as they arise. And then as we work with them, what we start to descend into is the body memories that are not yet resolved in us. And because they are not resolved in us, our body is convinced that we can't feel them safely.

SPEAKER_05: 44:32

And

SPEAKER_04: 44:34

so our body is projecting them. It's projecting them outward. But the body is doing that for a specific reason. It's so we can see it.

SPEAKER_05: 44:41

If

SPEAKER_04: 44:42

we start to see our self-sabotage as our body's way of communicating what the patterns are that want resolution and rewiring in us, not as the self-sabotage being a problem. The self-sabotage is the teacher. I love this. The good girl protectors are the teacher.

SPEAKER_05: 45:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_04: 45:04

I love

SPEAKER_06: 45:07

this. Say more about that. Oh my God, your voice. I want to be able to dive into this for like another hour with you and I have to go. So I know that's the thing where we interview such amazing people and we never want to stop talking to each other. So- I know everyone's going to be left wanting more and I would love for you to share how they can. That's how we're always supposed to leave things. I never leave things like that, but we're always supposed to leave things like that. I think that's the whole point. Keep coming back for more. So how can they identify their good girl protector and what is a current way that they can work with you or that you're willing

SPEAKER_04: 45:46

to? I'm so glad you asked this. Okay. I'm so glad you asked. So what I am really excited about, I'm like really profoundly excited about this and really proud of myself. And I'm just going to brag on myself because this took a shit ton of work to do. And it's a lot. And it feels like a really generous offering from my heart that I feel like really is going to help women start to understand themselves more. I created something called the Good Girl Protector Architect Quiz. You can find it on my site. You can find it on my website or on my IG, anywhere where you find Beth Clayton, it'll be somewhere. The reason this is so important to me is I have spent a long time coaching. I've seen patterns for a long time. Like I said, once I understood the framework, everything became more clear.

SPEAKER_05: 46:27

But

SPEAKER_04: 46:28

also, I have a ton of experience working with hundreds of women over the past at least five or six years, specifically women. And I have seen all of these different patterns in women and how they operate in their self-sabotaging patterns, for example. And once I became an Ishtar certified teacher and I was taught by Tracy how the nervous system functions and the different nervous system patterns, I was able to connect the dots on the behavior I was seeing around things like time, energy, money, purpose, relationships to how the nervous system protectors that Tracy taught me about and trained me with, with Ishtar Abadi, how they connect to those. And so I can help women pull the thread on not only how these patterns are showing up, because once they become aware of them, they can start to shift them, but also how they live in the nervous system themselves and how to start to create the medicine and the nervous system through the Ashtara body method, which I teach in all of my programming. So if they take this quiz, what they're going to get is their top predominant archetype. And it is like a full-on breakdown. When I say it's like probably going to take them 20 minutes to read, every single area of their lives and how this protector likely shows up. I'm not kidding. I went that in depth. But they're also going to get their other two, because three is where the real picture starts to come into play, not just one. They're only going to get the information, the full breakdown on the first one. But if they wind up booking a session with me for a reading, they'll get their other two. And they'll also get a lot of individualized coaching and uncovering of where the specific patterns originate from in them. And the steps they need to take specifically to start to heal into what I call their sacred rebel, which really is like we talked about, that authentic self from the beginning, but that is now fully grown up and ready to liberate them in their lives. And guess what? This is also your future self. So it's all connected. They're going to be able to see that self too. And the correlated sacred rebel with each archetype. So yes,

SPEAKER_06: 48:32

I'm very excited about it. And having built shit in the back end on a business, I also am like, that is a lot of work. And that is so generous because the amount of time that it takes to not only download the information, just like... Lots of VAs.

SPEAKER_04: 48:51

It's a big

SPEAKER_06: 48:51

VA, but I'm not one. We do so much work behind the scenes to bring these generous gifts to life. Well, thank you, Beth, for being here. It's a Joy is always to be with you.

SPEAKER_02: 49:02

Thank you. It's so much fun. It's such a pleasure to meet you. And thank you for sharing your wisdom and your gifts with us. Thank you so much. This was so fun. I had so much fun. And take

SPEAKER_04: 49:11

the quiz and let me know which ones you get. Because I did this with you, I'll send you your top three. I started it and then I was like...

SPEAKER_06: 49:17

this is really in depth. I need more space for this. You need like a

SPEAKER_04: 49:22

glass of wine or some tea and a candle, maybe some cleansing agents and a journal. Like it is a whole thing to just take it. But my whole goal with it is that you feel super seen and known even just in the taking of it. That like, oh, these patterns make sense. I'm not alone. Other women do this too. This is a thing, right? So I just hope that helps women feel more seen.

SPEAKER_02: 49:44

So beautiful. Thank you.