SPEAKER_01: 0:07

It doesn't always feel like current to what looks like curves to other people. For me, it feels like survival surfaces.

SPEAKER_02: 0:28

I can put the life of the next list.

SPEAKER_03: 0:30

And I can be so comfortable in the unknown and so comfortable in that uncertainty that every person of it is going to be okay.

SPEAKER_04: 0:50

I love the timing of these episodes. I always feel like it's so divine. And what I'm always in the moment of processing and in the moment right now is about visibility and being seen and really looking at all of that.

SPEAKER_06: 1:04

Um, here you are. Here I am. You're like an angel. Oh. She is an angel. I'm so excited to talk to you. I like hanging out with you. It's a good time. And I got to meet Linia in person in Golden. And we sat at this darling tea house on the patio. We got to hug each other.

SPEAKER_05: 1:22

So beautiful.

SPEAKER_06: 1:22

Oh, this happened. You already met in person.

SPEAKER_04: 1:24

Last year. Yeah. You were probably way overdressed for the weather. I'm jealous of both of you. I want to meet both of you in person. I haven't met Mo in person yet. Well, I know.

SPEAKER_06: 1:34

Well, today we are joined by a dear friend, an advisor, a powerhouse woman named Linya Floyd. Welcome, Linya, to Inter Revel today. Thank you so much for having me, ladies. I've been looking forward to this all week. Oh, we're so happy to have you. Linya is an award-winning journalist, best-selling ghostwriter, and sought-after media coach for corporate clients and entrepreneurs. She has two decades working as an editor and as a freelancer for titles like Oprah, Glamour, Essence, Money, Health, and Cosmopolitan. Linya is also ghost-written health books for medical experts and top creators that sold to Big Five and Boutique Publishing Houses. As a health expert who is also a nationally certified health and wellness coach, Linya has appeared on the Today Show, Fox, NPR, and more, drawing from her expertise on camera and behind a microphone. She gives her clients the tools to shine when they step into the media spotlight. She's expertly coached her entrepreneur clients, helping them land media, prestigious outlets like Business Insider, Well and Good, Fast Company, the Huffington Post, and more. She lives in New York City, but loves traveling the globe. Welcome, welcome, Linia Floyd. Thank you so much. And thank you to everybody listening in today.

SPEAKER_05: 2:46

I promise I will make it worth your while. No pressure.

SPEAKER_06: 2:50

Well, it's so fun because we love in our bios, it's a lot about our accolades as a professional. And the great thing is, is we may touch on that today. But what we're really interested in is the woman underneath that. And we love to have a different kind of conversation. You've obviously had a lot of experiences speaking and being interviewed. So it'll be interesting to see if you've had this kind of conversation. So we have to start off by asking you what is your relationship to your inner rebel?

SPEAKER_05: 3:21

My inner rebel is actually just getting started for me. Yes. So my inner rebel has been going 150 miles an hour for other people for as long as I can remember. I've always been someone who has been the cheerleader, kind of the second in command, the person pushing other people up into the spotlight. Very much a supporting character and doing everything that I could with that inner rebel spirit in order to get people where they wanted to be. And it could be anybody. I'm talking about the entrepreneurs that I've worked with and the media coaching with in order to get them and their businesses into the spotlight. I also do work with corporate organizations in terms of the media coaching that I do, getting people comfortable on camera, getting people comfortable talking to the media, which can be scary. I'm a friendly person in the media, but I know that it can be scary for people. And that's what my inner rebel has been really focused on for so, so long. But I am at this incredibly beautiful place in my life where I'm also able to get that inner rebel going for myself. And I have been doing a lot more recently in order to write stories that I am personally passionate about that reflect on my life, expressing more vulnerability and expressing more of my expertise with people. So it's a little bit of a shift. It's something that I have been doing forever for other people in almost every single aspect of work that I touch, whether it's ghostwriting for people, whether it's writing stories where I'm translating what complicated medical experts are trying to explain to the general public, whether it's the media coaching, all of that has been so other focused. But I'm getting to a place right now where I'm starting to do a little bit more of that for myself, which is really exciting. But I still have plenty of time for my amazing clients.

SPEAKER_06: 5:23

I want to say something about the timing of it. And if this is something that you don't want to talk about, let me know. But I know a little bit about the fact that you're actually still in a deep season of taking care of your parents. 100%. So you are really in a season of output and caregiving in a different way. So you spoke to how you cared for your clients, and now you're in the season that we'll all be at one day, which is caring for our parents. And so it's an interesting timing that in the season of lots of output for them, you're turning back your inner rebel on you. Did those two things have anything to do with one another? I would say yes.

SPEAKER_05: 6:04

The first thing that I want to hit on that is so important that you touched on is in terms of the caregiving, what is so important but often gets lost sight of the idea that if you do not pour into yourself first, you will not be able to pour into others. And it sounds very cliche. People say it all the time, but then they say, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I have to get these things done for other people. But truly, at the end of the day, if you are not there, if you are not healthy enough, if you are not happy enough, if you are not energetic enough in order to be able to help other people, then you're not going to be able to do that work. And you have to pour into yourself first in order to be able to give to other people. So definitely there's been that coincidence of those things happening within my life. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04: 6:52

What I find so fascinating is that your gift is to help people be visible and to be seen and to step into the spotlight. And yet, you in your own life have taken this back seat. And I really relate to this actually because when I work as a coach, but also just things that have happened in my personal life, I'm also a cheerleader. I also really love bringing out the best in people and holding them to their vision and watching them then just like zoom ahead. And then I'm like, okay, bye. And I felt like when's it my turn? When does that spotlight then come to me? But also realizing it's a lot more comfortable in the backseat over here. You know, the gift is seeing other people's potential, but also where am I shying away?

SPEAKER_05: 7:39

I'm so glad that you asked me about it. I was, I came ready to talk about this because I do think that there are some generational shifts that have happened over time. And that's what has really impacted me. So I was very intentional. I always knew that I wanted to be a writer. Everything that I do right now to this day is some variation on that theme of writing and being in the media. Not a lot of people go to Harvard to get a degree in English. They go for other things that are going to be vastly more lucrative. However, this was something that I wanted to do. Success for me was defined as being able to have a wonderful life and I don't want to say rich life, but to be able to be able to do that as a writer, not having to compromise the thing that I have been passionate about literally since I was like six years old. And so once I left that, once I graduated and I had to get a job, that's where the compromise started to come in. And that's when I entered the wonderful world of journalism, because that's how I thought I was going to pay my bills, being a great journalist, being a great reporter, being a great writer. And I started working at one of the most amazing organizations out there, the Associated Press, which is a wire service. And what they teach you is to be fair and to be balanced and to be very fast with your reporting, to be extremely accurate with your reporting, and also that you are never part of the story. You're just not there. Get the facts out there, but you don't belong in the story. So I started with this incredible foundation in terms of reporting and writing, but also where there was zero space for me. You know, the space for you is in terms of what do I want to report on? What am I passionate about? What do I want my beat to be? But outside of that, you are telling someone else's story. You are holding up to something else that is happening in this world. And that is just a pattern that I fell into. Now, if you ask somebody who's outside of my generation, someone who grew up with Instagram and other platforms on social media, they very much think, what story can I tell? What do people want to hear about me? What do I think about what's happening? That is not the foundation that I started with. And I carried those skills and that silence, if you will, with me for many years until things started to shift a little bit more. So that's why this is a little bit of a later awakening for me. And I will say, to your point, Jessica, there are a few things that light me up more than being able to sit down with a client, somebody who's very anxious about getting in front of a microphone, or somebody who flat out tells me I never want to do television, or somebody who tells me that they don't have a story, they don't have talking points, they don't know what to say. To be able to give those things to them, to be able to pull back a curtain and show those things to them and show them what they do have inside of them, what they do have to speak about that people genuinely care about, that they could actually get on a stage or in front of a microphone or in front of a camera, and instead of being anxious, be excited. That feels amazing. I love that. I love that I can share those skills with other people. And the transformation is palpable. The transformation is exciting, the transformation is visible, and the transformation reverberates, right? The transformation allows them to go out and then share their knowledge, their messaging, their ideas with an exponential number of people.

SPEAKER_04: 11:10

But what has that transition felt like? Because I imagine even though you've been in the position of supporting other people through that process, it's still different. And you still got to get into all of those uncomfortable parts of yourself and see where you're holding back from stepping into the light. Absolutely. I think I'm curious about the revelation, like the moment that this started to shift, and you're like, hmm, I actually have something to say and I want to be in the story. It's my narrative too. How coming out in that way has felt for you?

SPEAKER_05: 11:42

So I can share two stories around there because we're always growing, right? We're always on these constantly shifting sands. And so I've had the joy of experiencing this more than once. So the very first time was when I was working at 17 Magazine many, many moons ago. And I had the subscription to that. That's a big part of our upbringing. Yep. 100%. I had this subscription also, and it's exactly the way that you would imagine it. Prom season, the hallways were overflowing with dresses and beautiful shoes and jewelry. And we'd get emails that were just like, so Beyonce's gonna be in the conference room at lunchtime. You know, that kind of thing would happen all the time. It's my first concert. Destiny styled. But one of the things that I remember most about my time at 17 was that we had a publicity problem. We had a ton of other magazines that were suddenly springing up and they were appealing to our audience. There was Teen People and Sassy and Teen Vogue and all of these other magazines that were trying to take our readership away from us. And we had to get more competitive. And the way to do that was using publicity. And so our director of media relations and PR would come and she would stand in the doorway of my office, and I would always remember sitting at my computer, typing away, and then I would see out of the corner of my eye the silhouette of her standing in the doorway of my office, and I'd be like, oh no. She is gonna ask me to do a TV segment, she's gonna ask me to do radio, she's gonna ask me to do something, and I do not want to do this. And this was a long time ago. This was way before I got incredibly comfortable doing these things. But at the time, I did not want to be in the spotlight. I wanted to be behind the scenes, writing my stories, interviewing teenagers, interviewing experts, everything behind the scenes. And here was this woman asking me, Hey, can you step in front of a camera and represent this entire magazine and get more millions of readers reading our content? And I was truly terrified. So I'd come up with these excuses. Oh, I can't do that. You know, I have a family engagement or we're working on this huge package with a national organization. I just don't have time. But she got me to do it a couple of times. But I was always terrified and I was always trying to keep these excuses not to step into the spotlight in my back pocket. And it wasn't until my next job, and they'd seen me on TV and they were like, hey, she's pretty good. And they said, We'd love you to do that kind of thing for our magazine also. And we're going to have you have a session with a media coach. And I was like, Oh, what's that? Oh, she's gonna help coach you so that you're gonna be your best on camera and you can be more comfortable and you'll know what to say and when to say it. And I thought, this sounds amazing. And so I went to the meeting place and I met this person and we sat down and we did drills. She put me on a fake camera and recorded me. And I asked her all the questions that were giving me anxiety, right? What do I do if I stumble over my words? What do I do if they ask me a question that I don't know the answer to? What do I, what do I, what do I? But being able to get all of that out and have somebody who was extremely experienced give me all of this information, I cannot tell you the transformation that took place. Although I can tell you I went from anxiety to excitement. I had the tools that I needed. All of a sudden I went from you don't know what you don't know, and anything could happen, and oh my God, let's just pray for the best, to I actually do know what can happen. And I've prepared for all these scenarios and I know exactly how to step into this spotlight and to shine as my absolute best. And it turned to something that I absolutely dreaded, that I was desperately clinging to the curtain as somebody was trying to pull me out onto a stage, to something that I would get super excited about. When will the talent car arrive? I can't wait to get set down. I can't wait for them to bring me down to channel four. Like, let's do this. I'm ready to go. Who will be interviewing me today? I'm so excited. Who will I get to meet? That was the very first time that I saw how exciting it could be to move from behind the curtain to in front of the curtain and to get excited about giving that opportunity to other people. It's one of the things that I am most excited about in the media coaching that I do because I know what it feels like to be really scared and to not want to have that opportunity, but then to see what happens when you do, and to have your phone light up with people texting you after you get off the set of the Today Show and to go back to the office and hear that people have been calling the magazine and they have all these questions about what you said. So it's super exciting, but it's also an opportunity. I would get on these shows and I would share health information that could change and save people's lives. And that was an opportunity that was too big to pass up. So being able to sit in that space of knowing not only am I doing this thing that's going to help people, but it's also going to be fun, was really powerful. And all it took was help with preparation from somebody, which is exactly what I do now.

SPEAKER_06: 16:42

I would add that that's not all because yes, that was important, but you needed an invitation. You needed to be seen, you needed somebody to see something in you before you could see it in yourself and invite you into it, first and foremost. You said yes, which is really brave, but that was step one. And I love that you shared, I used to lie all the time to stop being visible. So like I've faked food poisoning and all kinds of things to get out of visibility. So like I love where you're like, oh, I made up elaborate lies to get out of speaking in front of rooms forever. And now I love doing it. So that was so resonant for me. But I probably say this on every episode, but I'm gonna keep saying it the power of being seen because you need someone to extract it out of you sometimes. Be like, Linia, we want you to do this. We see something in you. And then you got the tools. And then what I will say about that is there was the relational side of I got an opportunity to practice in a safe space where I could speak out loud the things that I was scared of, where my shame was held, and I could in a low-stakes environment. And this is why I do what I do, because I'm like, we need a safe place to be seen, to practice, to fuck up, to be messy, to say the things out loud that were like, can I admit that I literally don't know what I'm doing? Just have that place to be messy. So I just want to like name those things because I think that's so critical to be like, I had a place to practice, somebody saw me and I could be messy. So then when I went out there, I was like, oh yeah, I'm prepared.

SPEAKER_05: 18:05

And now you do that for other people. Absolutely. And it's so funny because because I've been on the Today Show multiple times, I'll have people call me and say, I just got an opportunity to be on the today show. I know that you've done it a bunch of times. I need you to train me. I'm like, okay, no problem. And we'll run through like mock segments together and they'll stumble on their first words. And they'll say, Oh, Linia, I'm just so nervous talking to you. And I'm like, that's cool. That's totally fine. Be nervous talking to me right now. We're gonna get all the nerves out so that once you actually are standing on that stage and figuring out which of the three cameras you're supposed to be looking at and smiling, then it's not gonna happen. Let's do it here so it doesn't happen there.

SPEAKER_06: 18:43

I wanna think that I know the answer to this, but what do you feel like people are most afraid of around being seen?

SPEAKER_05: 18:49

Oh, around being seen in general?

SPEAKER_06: 18:51

Well, when you're going on the Today show, like you are a subject matter expert. You could probably talk about those health topics in your sleep all day long. So my guess is it's not the fear around like I can't speak on the subject. My guess is it's something else.

SPEAKER_05: 19:08

It's different depending upon where someone is in their career or their entrepreneurial journey. So if someone is more towards the beginning of their journey, then I would say the number one fear is going to be around perceived lack of expertise. It sounds like I don't have anything interesting to say, or I don't know what my expert topics are, I don't know what my expertise might be. I don't know if I sound smart, I don't know if I know more than the average person about this thing. How do I make sure that I present myself as somebody who is? Because I am having insecurities about whether or not I really am an expert. And I'm using those quote marks because that's what people are feeling, but it's not the case, right? If you get an opportunity, nine times out of ten, it's because you do know more than the average bear about the thing that you've been asked to talk about. But we have these insecurities, we have the imposter syndrome, all that weighing down. And that's throughout your career. But if I had to choose, I would say that's the number one thing that people struggle with more towards the beginning of their career. And I always hear, is what I'm saying interesting? Do I sound smart? Is this making sense? That kind of thing. People who are further along on their career journey or their entrepreneurial journey, they have much more specific kind of esoteric concerns around visibility. They know what their weak points are and they see them with a laser focus. Sometimes it's like the only thing that they see. So they'll say things to me like, I know that I move my hands too much, or I know that I can come up looking really intense, or I know that I speak too fast. They're very specific things, right? And me as a media coach, absolutely sitting there, will be able to pick up on those things. Either when I work with people, I'll watch or listen to their past performance before I sit down with them. So I'll be able to pick up on these things. But what it's also so important for people to remember is that yes, while it's important for us to do this work and get you to a place where you're not doing those things that are distracting you or causing you frustration or that you feel are distracting, the average person who is watching you on television or listening to you on a podcast probably isn't honing in on that thing that you are super self-conscious about. But I still have to get you not self-conscious about it so that you feel like you are showing up as your absolute best and so that you can perform in a way that is going to be impactful for your audience.

SPEAKER_04: 21:44

What I'm hearing is that whether you're at the beginning of your career or later in your career, it still all comes down to the same human place because both of those things seem to be about fear of being misunderstood or fear of being judged. To put yourself out there means that either you're at risk of the message not being clear and it being misconstrued, and that's very vulnerable, or they actually do see you, but they don't like you. Also very vulnerable. So we want to be curated to a certain extent. And I think it's this protective part of us that wants to protect our image and protect the way that we are visible, but that's not always in our control. So you sort of help with the elements that are to some degree and to show up as confidently as you can.

SPEAKER_05: 22:32

Yeah. And I do think that there is a lot that is within our control, right? To a certain extent. We can't control technical malfunctions, right? And we can't control if the host of a TV show asks us a question that's like way out of left field. But we can control how we answer that. We can control how we respond to technical malfunctions. There are all these brilliant ways that we can navigate and make our way through what are perceived difficult situations so that we can shine as brightly as possible. Yeah, and put our best foot forward in that scenario.

SPEAKER_06: 23:06

Yeah. I think it's the bridge between, I'm present to the words curated and authenticity. And as I'm listening to you, I'm like, I can't wait to do more media training with you. When you have the tools to show up and own the spotlight, you can be more authentic, even if it's in a curated way. Yes. You're removing the bullshit that gets in the way that keeps you from able to just be you.

SPEAKER_04: 23:31

I literally just wrote that down. Sometimes the curation allows you to be more authentic.

SPEAKER_05: 23:35

But I also want to toss out there, and it's interesting, I do this with both my ghostwriting clients and with my media coaching clients. One of the questions that I ask both of those individuals is give me three adjectives for the way that you would like to sound. What do you want people to think about you after you walk off of the stage or after the interview is over or after they finish reading the last page of your book? And it's interesting because some people will want things that are not necessarily how you think of them. Some people want to be funnier than they are. Some people want to seem more like a best friend or a girlfriend when in real life maybe they could be a little bit standoffish, right? And so there's a balance between that authenticity and how people actually want to come off. Not necessarily in a nefarious way through the desire to be heard, right? If I can make you laugh, maybe you'll lean in and pay attention a little bit more to what I'm saying. Yeah. If it sounds like it's coming from your best friend instead of coming from somebody who has multiple medical degrees and could talk circles around, you know, a lecture hall, then maybe you're going to capture more of what I'm saying and what I'm sharing. So that's one thing that I do with my clients, and I encourage people to do it themselves also. Sometimes I'll actually even send my clients just like a list of adjectives, like which of these are jumping out at you in terms of how you really want to show up? Because it can be hard for people to think about that. A lot of times people just think, I got an opportunity and I just got to do my absolute best. Okay, but what does your best sound like? What does your best look like? What does your best make people feel?

SPEAKER_04: 25:16

And when you spoke before about giving people this health information, and that's such an amazing opportunity, that also reminded me, and it connects to this, I think, of what your deeper why is. Like why are you there? What are you trying to communicate? And what is the service, the intent behind that? And that if the why is very clear, that also not only helps how you want to show up and how you want people to perceive you, but can also, I think, override the anxiety at times when we're so connected to the purpose behind it. We make it more meaningful than the fear. 100%.

SPEAKER_05: 25:54

The purpose is going to be able to drive us into action. The preparation, the working with a coach or getting someone's help as a ghostwriter or what have you, that is what's going to help you cross that finish line and show up.

SPEAKER_06: 26:09

Don't you have a talk that you did for us, the three Ps? Wasn't it like purpose, preparation, and presence or something? Persistence. Persistence. I'm curious. So your three adjectives, when you were sharing health information as a subject matter expert, you probably had three ways that you wanted to sound. Now you're shifting the narrative to more of your personal story, it sounds like. So how has that shifted? You were to name how you wanted to be perceived back then to how you want to be perceived now as you're sharing your own story. Has that changed?

SPEAKER_05: 26:44

Oh, radically. Absolutely. And to be fair, I still write lots of magazine articles. I still, I still do the reporting side of things. But as it starts to shift a little bit, I'm writing in a more vulnerable way. I'm writing in a much more creative way. Going back to my associated press days, that was about getting the information out as quickly as possible, as clearly as possible, as accurately as possible. And I got to expand on that in my magazine days, right? Wire services are getting multiple stories out every single day. Magazines are producing stories on a weekly or a monthly basis. So I got more time with that. But the work that I'm doing now, definitely more vulnerability, definitely a lot more creativity and fun and play to it as well, and a different type of enjoyment that comes out of it.

SPEAKER_04: 27:37

So I do want to then circle back to that original question, then, because you said there's two stories or two phases. And I imagine phase one is oh wow, I had fear of speaking, and now I have the tools and the resources to get out there and be in the media and speak publicly. But there's another dimension when it gets personal. Yes, absolutely. So I'm curious about phase two and what you are currently experiencing as you come out in this way.

SPEAKER_05: 28:04

I am so glad that you asked because the timing couldn't be more perfect. In this phase two, it actually echoes a little bit of what Melissa was saying about having someone see something inside of you or being in a space where somebody kind of is pulling something out of you. I decided this year to join a writer's group. And I said, this is really gonna push me to produce more of my own writing, to hold myself more accountable. I have an accountability partner in the group. It's been incredible. And about a month or so ago, I was making my accountability list for the week. And I was just like, I just have to start putting myself out there. Like, time's up. Let's go. We've been creating. Now let's get some of these creations out of the door. And I ended up sending a pitch that was a very deeply personal story to an outlet that I can't really name just yet, but it's a major media outlet that everybody would recognize and be very excited about. And I wrote this pitch and I could feel the hesitation in clicking the send button. It took me no time to write up the pitch. And I'll tell you why. Because I had written more than half of it seven years ago. Let the file linger. I was like, I'll come back to this. This is really deeply personal. I don't know. I'll come back to this. And I didn't. Year after year after year, it was addressed to an editor who no longer worked at the outlet anymore. I had to go find a new person to send this out to. But I said, we just gotta do it. And I like telling this story because I feel like people remember Lost. There's a scene on Lost where Jack is talking to Kate, and Jack is explaining that as a medical doctor, he made a terrible mistake. During a surgery and he nicked an artery and the patient was going to bleed out within a matter of minutes. And in that moment, he allowed himself to be scared for like five seconds. And he counts really slowly to five in the scene. He says then after the five seconds were over, I just had to get it done. And he ends up fixing the mistake. The patient lives, the patient is completely mobile. Everything is fine in the end. And I always think about that scene and how it's not that you're not going to be scared. It's not about not being fearful. It's always about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. And I gave myself five seconds to be like, oh my God, I can't believe you're doing this, but you're gonna do it. Five, four, three, two, one, click. And then I just walked away from my computer. And about a week later, I heard from the editor and she was like, This sounds so great. I think this would be perfect for our readership. Let me pitch it to my editor and let me get back to you. Just hold tight. And I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. I think this is happening. And then I heard nothing.

SPEAKER_06: 30:59

Are you still in the space of nothing right now? Are you waiting? So I sent a follow-up email. Persistence. This is the third P, everybody. Or maybe the first P. I don't know. So there's my second email.

SPEAKER_05: 31:11

Hey, just following up to see what happened. And I didn't hear anything back. And I thought, oh man, what a bummer. And I said, I'm gonna try one more time. And I did. And she wrote me back right away and she said, I'm so sorry. It's just been really hectic here. But I come bearing great news. We would love for you to write this piece for us. That was yesterday.

SPEAKER_06: 31:29

Hi, I mean. Well, then what happened in your body? Did you panic? Were you like, I want to go back in my turtle shell, or were you like ready?

SPEAKER_05: 31:37

No, I was so ready and I was so excited because she actually said I had offered to do some reporting in this story and talk to some experts. And she said, actually, we don't want experts, we just want you to talk about your personal experience. Wow. Wow. Wow. Is this in alignment? And so, yes, going back to persistence, absolutely. And in all fairness to myself, maybe seven years ago was not the right time. Maybe now was the right time. But it has been ready all this time. It just needed a 5-4-3-2-1 click send, which happened, and then everything started to fall into place. And so I say that because I genuinely believe that people go to my website and they look at my videos and they're like, oh my God, she's in his Antelvin. She doesn't know what it feels like to be nervous about these things. Or my God, she worked in media for 20 years. She doesn't know what it's like to freak out before clicking send and to worry, like, am I being too vulnerable? Are they even going to care about this story? Do I have anything to say? Is this interesting at all? Yeah, I know exactly what it feels like. I know how to push through it. I help people do it all the time. And we have to give ourselves these opportunities. We have to be persistent. We have to be prepared. And we have to know our purpose. And I'm so excited to share this story. Of course, I told my friends immediately. I was like, I'm gonna be in, fill in a blank. Tell, or we said hi. Just kidding. And they were like, what's it about? And I told them, and they were like, oh my God, this is so relatable. You know, we all sit in these spaces where we think I'm just the lone person here having this singular experience. And it is never, ever the case. Ever the case. In fact, in all of my caregiving experiences and trials and tribulations, as frustrated as I get, I always come back to this reminder of I'm not the first person in the world to have this issue. And somebody else had to have figured it out before me. And I hop on Reddit, or I call a doctor, or I talk to a nurse, or I talk to somebody else who's a caregiver. And lo and behold, here comes a solution. Right. So we always have to remember like, we're not the only people who have ever had this experience. And there's somebody out there who can help us. There's somebody out there who can help us shine. There's somebody out there who can help us find out what our purpose is, what our talking points are, what our messaging is, what it is that we have to share that is going to be of interest to other people. And I love that I get to do that.

SPEAKER_06: 33:55

Jess is about to jump through the screen. I love watching Jess when she's so excited about this conversation. It's so great. I'm so excited. You're so excited about what Lydia is saying.

SPEAKER_04: 34:06

I love watching you while Lenny was talking. Well, I really just want to congratulate you. So congratulations. And I'm just so happy for you. And I just think that's an amazing affirmation from life to put your vulnerability out there and get that response. And good on you being persistent and following up. I really want to acknowledge how important it is what you said about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I mean, I think we're living life right when we're on the edge of our comfort zone. Like life should just feel a little bit scary all the time. That's how you know that you're growing. But I also want to highlight that moment of hesitation, just in the spirit, like you said, of being relatable and universal. Like everybody is going to tune into this and feel this. Do you understand what that fear was? What was the feeling behind that hesitation? What was that fear? What was that story, even though you were able to move past it?

SPEAKER_05: 34:58

Oh, absolutely. It was you're not supposed to be the center of the story. The story is other people. You are now delving into this realm of vulnerability, and people are going to know more about you, and you're exposing your soft parts to the world now, right? And that can be really scary. But at the same time, that is the place where relatability happens. That's the place where connection happens. That's the place where you help other individuals who are going through something similar transform. Or even if the transformation isn't happening, just feeling like you are not alone in that experience or realizing that you are not alone in that experience by seeing, reading, hearing, watching somebody else talk about it.

SPEAKER_06: 35:46

What is your why that's so much bigger than your fear? What is, if you can disclose it at this point, what is the impact that you're hoping to make by telling this part of your story and stepping into center stage? Are you able to share that part?

SPEAKER_05: 36:00

I can. It is who I am. I am a storyteller. That is my purpose. That is what I was put here to do. That is what I've been doing since I was six years old. That is what I find tremendous joy in. And that is what has allowed me to have one of the things, one of the things that has allowed me to have a tremendous impact on other people. And if we think about our time here as using the tools that we have been gifted and the opportunities that we have sought out and made use of in order to do all of those things, then that's my responsibility. That is my reason for being.

SPEAKER_06: 37:28

Yeah, maybe it's an area of your life, but it's okay if you can't say it.

SPEAKER_05: 37:32

Um, it will ultimately be a book, a memoir that I am writing, not just about my experience, but generationally the experiences of my family.

SPEAKER_04: 37:45

It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_06: 37:46

The other thing that I love that you said is that I wrote it seven years ago and then it was like, oh, 5-4-3-2-1, boop. But I think because I knew about the Nova for nine years before I 5-4-3-2-1 booked it, you know? Yeah. And so I think it's much longer than that in the episode. This is key for people because we have a knowing so much earlier than we take action, oftentimes. There's a deep knowing, whether you can name it, whether you've written it clearly. But you know, and it takes time before the action happened. So there was a becoming of you for seven years. I'm going to just make a wild assumption that you needed to go through all of the things you needed to go through in order to hit send seven years later. And that becoming is so critical to being ready. I put it ready in air quotes, because we always are like, you know, you're like clenching your butt cheeks as you hit send. But I like to talk about that because it's okay if you said the thing out loud 10 years ago or five years ago or one year ago and you didn't do it, just trust that the becoming was critical to what it is that you're here to do next. I absolutely agree.

SPEAKER_05: 38:59

And it's all part of the process. Yeah. Nobody leaps to the top, I mean, you know, a superhero, but nobody leaps to the top of the staircase. You take it one step at a time. Maybe you take it two steps at a time, but you're not gonna just transport yourself to the top of the staircase.

SPEAKER_06: 39:14

As an efficiency junkie, I want to, though. I want to be like, I mean, we all do. We all how do I jump all of the steps? I don't want to go one at a time. I want to go 25 at a time. Fly to the roof. Yeah. Fly to the roof. I want to fly to the roof as quickly as possible. What were you gonna say, Jess?

SPEAKER_04: 39:28

Well, I just really appreciate this aspect of the conversation, and you've touched on it a number of times around training. And I think sometimes we go to a coach for training, sometimes life trains us. But I think we have this expectation of ourselves that we should just know how to do things, especially when it just is about showing up and being ourselves or speaking on camera or whatever it is. I know as an actor, because I'm an actor as well, I need rehearsal. I need that time to get something in my body and to spend time relaxing into it so that it can be effortless and to give ourselves the grace, both in media and in putting ourselves in the public eye. Like it takes a certain amount of capacity for pressure to be in the spotlight, to hold that much and still deliver. That is just a nervous system thing that we have to build sometimes. And then also life is gonna be putting us through those trainings all the time in order to get us ready to do the five, four, three, two, one boop, you know, and and step into the next incarnation of self.

SPEAKER_05: 40:29

I think you're absolutely right. And I want to add to that that not only do we expect ourselves to be able to do things, we also expect ourselves to be able to just figure anything out. Just, okay, I'm just gonna watch a bunch of videos, read a bunch of books, da-da-da-da. And I'm not discounting that people are very smart and can do all these things, but at what cost? Right? If this isn't something that you have some expertise around, and an hour of working with somebody could make a radical transformation that is specific to your particular experience, then why put the bootstrap? I'm gonna figure it out on my own, pressure on yourself, and why not just ask for some help?

SPEAKER_06: 41:13

We were just talking about that. We had a ANOVA event right before this, and the theme of this month is inclusive leadership. And so the question that we did breakout groups, I can't remember the exact phrase, but it was all about asking for help inside of leadership. And what does it mean, and how can that enhance your leadership? Because the theme of the quarter is collective empowerment. So it was all about how does getting support actually enhance your leadership? And it was such a beautiful dialogue because we're taught fake it till you make it, and you gotta be the expert, and don't let anybody know that you don't know what you're doing. And it's so the opposite of how we need to be really, because there is something on Vicky, Vicky Hughes on her LinkedIn the other day said, instead of fake it till you make it, brave it until you believe it. I was like, love brave it until you believe it, because that's more what it is. And when you brave it, you ask for support. When you brave it, you be afraid. When you brave it, you say the things you're scared of out loud. When you brave it, you might actually need to take time where you take that breath and then you do the scary thing. And so I love just being able to not know totally what you're doing and phone a friend because guess what? We're all real happy to receive that phone call. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04: 42:26

We love talking about community a lot on Inter Rebel. It's so important. And you mentioned even the writer's group, and I had the thought at the time about just inserting yourself in spaces where you're held accountable, where people see you, where people support you. Melissa, you were talking about how important it is to be seen and recognized and called out to share our gifts. Not everyone listening has had that experience, but we can seek out those groups, those people who can help nurture that. You know, we need to be in those environments. So I just noted that as part of your story. It's a great way to move and transition out of one phase to another, is like, oh, I'm ready to tell my story. How do I find a space where that's safe to explore?

SPEAKER_06: 43:09

Right.

SPEAKER_03: 43:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 43:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 43:11

So what are you most excited about now? You just got this big news yesterday. What feels possible now that you know that this is happening?

SPEAKER_05: 43:19

I'm excited about this story. That is the thing that makes me most excited right now is finishing that story and getting it out into the world. And I'm really curious what the reaction is going to be because it's unlike anything that I've ever written before.

SPEAKER_04: 43:37

Oh, that's a really beautiful response because to arrive at a place in yourself where you can be vulnerable and be excited for that kind of feedback, not knowing what it will be, is I think actually the place we need to arrive at when we put ourselves out there, that we're not worried about the perception that we're like, ooh, what are people gonna think? This is so cool.

SPEAKER_06: 43:57

So good for you. So, what would you say to the woman that's got her finger on send, terrified to hit the button, standing on the edge of her next chapter? What do you say?

SPEAKER_05: 44:10

Five, four, three, two, one. Send.

SPEAKER_06: 44:14

That's it. Just do it. Amazing. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thanks for being here, Linya. We're so excited for this. I can't wait till you get to tell us what it is. Oh, I will to be continued. Very excited to share that with everybody.

SPEAKER_04: 44:29

We can't wait, and we'll definitely be sharing it with our listeners when it's out there. So thanks for sharing your heart and your wisdom and your story. It's really inspiring and special. Really appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_05: 44:40

And thank you to everybody who listened in today.